Absurdist Interview: Artist/Designer Bailey Ferguson

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Bailey Ferguson is hard at work in the world of art and design, trying her hand at any and all media. She's been a painter's assistant, a design intern, a freelance painter and chalk board artist, and she's currently a member of the Pirate Contemporary Art Co-op, a photographer, a letterpress studio assistant and an editor of ZeroMile, Metro State's design magazine, all while working toward her degree in Communications Design. And she still found time to sit and talk with us about nothing related to those things.

WW: What do you think is the worst non-derogatory word in the English language? BF: Oh, that's a good one...velvet.

WW: What is your favorite food paired with orange juice? BF: Spirulina.

WW: Does the Categorical Imperative work in reality as a basis for moral action? BF: That's kind of a deep question. I say no, because why would we all want to be monotonous. The world is a beautiful place because of its diversity. You have to have good and bad, you know?

WW: What are you listening to? BF: I am listening to, on more than a weekly basis, a Clap Your Hands, Say Yeah album, and when I'm working it's The Rachels. They're fucking awesome...because I can't listen to any words when I'm working.

WW: What gets you up in the morn? BF: Sunshine and coffee. Seizing the day and giving kisses to my cat.

WW: Define defenestration. BF: The act of always having a plan to end the world. Like the Futurist movement when everyone wanted to destroy the academic past, burn libraries and praise the flying machine. [Editor's note: Although creative, this definition is incorrect. "Defenestration" is in fact the act of throwing someone or something out a window. For that reason, it is probably the most awesome word in the English language].

WW: When did they conceive of the flying machine? BF: Well, they had the train in 1909, when the movement started, which was the fastest thing back then, but I'm not sure. When was Amelia Earhart?

WW: I think the 1930s. What's your favorite mythical animal? BF: Unicorns are fucking awesome. They're just beautiful, and there are always sparkles around and some sort of melancholy rhythm when they run by.

WW: Who can eat the most? BF: My brother. He was really poor when he lived in Hawaii, and he would climb up trees and eat like a dozen coconuts a day. Crack 'em open with a machete. He's funny.

WW: Speaking of funny, you got any jokes? BF: Yes. Why do girls wear makeup and perfume?

WW: I have no idea, why? BF: Because they're ugly and they smell bad [laughs]. I was going between that one and the Nebraska joke.

WW: What's the Nebraska joke? BF: Why is Nebraska so windy?

WW: I don't know. BF: Because Iowa sucks and Wyoming blows.

WW: Iowa does suck. Sorry Iowans. What's the weirdest thing you've overheard in recent memory? BF: No comment.

WW: What does it mean to launch all vipers? BF: Military code for kicking some serious ass.

WW: Finish this sentence: ________ will ruin the world? BF: Big oil. Fo sho.

WW: Name two factors that led to the fall of the Roman Empire. BF: Poor sanitation...and wasn't there some invasion of some kind?

WW: Any final words? BF: I'm finishing school in two weeks, and I need a job. Hire me for letterpress or design, please!

Bailey and her fellow students are hosting ZeroMile 005's release party at Stoney's Bar at 1111 Lincoln Street on December 10th from 6-9 p.m. Free entry, photolapse booth, video art, screen printing and more will be going down, so check it out. To view more of Bailey's work visit bferguson.wordpress.com.

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