All you're life, you've been waiting for someone to recognize you for your freakish ability to cram an insane amount of tennis balls in your mouth. This weekend, my friend, that ship comes in. Tomorrow through Sunday, America's Got Talent, the Simon Cowell-produced series that takes all the weird and wacky shit Americans can do and puts it on television for a million-dollar prize, rolls through town for a round of preliminary auditions -- and you, along with everyone else who can balance 10 cats on top of each other or unicycle and yodel at the same time, are invited.

For the most part, all you have to do is show up, though it'll be quicker if you take a second to pre-register first. "We highly recommend people pre-register," says AGT Media Outreach Coordinator Daarina Marie. "That way they can get all the necessary paperwork together, IDs, all the forms, that kind of thing. We don't turn anyone away, but it will slow it down not to."

This weekend's round of auditions is preliminary, which means there won't be any judges, no cameras, no glitz. Just you doing up to 90 seconds of your act for the producers -- all the same, the producers recommend you show up as if you were about to perform for a crowd -- that means get that leotard on before you go, and make sure to bring all 10 cats with you.

If you're any good (or, perhaps, if you're really terrible), you'll get a ring from the producers inviting you to the next round, unless you don't, which means you'll just have to seek attention for your tennis-ball related activities elsewhere.

Keep in mind, this is AGT's first go-round in our fair city, and who knows when they'll be back again -- so don't miss it. Auditions go down Saturday and Sunday from 8 a.m. to 7 p.m. at the Sheraton Denver Downtown Hotel, 1550 Court Place.

Go get 'em, champ.