Film and TV

Bachelor Pad and five other terrible TV spinoffs

We could all use a second chance sometimes. From everyday schmoes to high-powered television producers, everyone's looking for a way to capitalize just one more time on one flimsy yet extremely profitable premise or other. Or maybe that's just the television producers. Either way, the execs over at ABC are taking a gamble on Bachelor Pad, an awful-sounding third spinoff of The Bachelor which premiers tonight. Featuring former Bachelor and Bachelorette contestants living together, the show purports to give them "a second chance at love." It may be terrible, but it certainly won't be the worst spinoff ever. Get our picks after the jump.

05. Grady A short-lived continuation of Sanford & Son (it lasted less than a season), this network turd featured Grady Wilson, Sanford's best friend from the original, (surprise) in his own show. With a set that looked suspiciously familiar plus character jokes that were pretty much the same except lazier, this series was shortly discontinued and later repackaged for syndication as episodes of the original.

04. Life with Lucy Not so much a spinoff as an unfortunate continuation, Life with Lucy debuted in 1986 and lasted only eight episodes. Although the show opened to excellent ratings, viewership soon took a precipitous drop, possibly due to then-75-year-old Lucille Ball's frightening hair.

03. Joey As we learned from Grady, It's probably never a good idea to put your quirky-neighbor character at the front of the bill, and crappy Friends spinoff Joey was no exception. Observe the attempted moment of pathos around minute three, when Matt LeBlanc goes for a look of concern, but comes off much closer to a contemplative simian trying to peel a banana.

02. Joanie Loves Chachi What do you get when you take two Happy Days characters (one of whom is Scott Baio), move them to a new city and put them in a band that intermittently plays heavily produced schlock-rock during episodes of the show? Two abbreviated seasons, and a horribly misconceived premise that will go down forever in the annals of truly ghastly television.

01. The Real Gilligan's Island But not as horrible as making a reality television version of already not great (but nevertheless beloved) series Gilligan's Island. And yet, in practice, the series was somehow even more appalling than it is in theory. From the bratty punk-rock cover of the original's theme to the bizarrely Christmas-pageant-ish timbre of the games, the only conclusion you can draw from this show is that it was actively trying to be horrible. And succeeding.

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Jef Otte
Contact: Jef Otte