Boulder Facial Hair Club Gets Hairy This Weekend With Contest and Crawl

If you grow it, you should show it. The Boulder Facial Hair Club is gearing up for its third annual Beard and Moustache Competition on Saturday, October 24, and hundreds of men (and dozens of women) are already packing their beard oil and costumes in preparation for the hair-raising event in Longmont — but there's still time to sign up to compete.

Boulder Facial Hair Club Vice President Mark “Huk” Holt urges would-be participants to pay close attention to the length of moustache allowed in each category. He warns that he's not afraid to pull out a ruler on stage and send competitors to the bathroom with a pair of scissors or a razor. Here are the twelve official categories:

1) Natural Moustache

There's no product allowed in this bad boy. Guys interested in competing in this category may style their facial hair but cannot add anything to it. The natural moustache can be a maximum of 1.5 centimeters beyond the end of the upper lip.

2) Freestyle Moustache

This is the type of moustache you associate with a bad guy in the movies, who's always twisting it while snarling. Unlike the natural moustache, you can add all the oil and product you’d like to the freestyle.

3) Natural Sideburns

Would all muttonchops lovers please stand up? Beards don't count in this category, and no product is allowed. 

4) Partial Beard Freestyle

Here’s where it gets fun: This category is for any beard that doesn’t match specific categories and is not considered long enough to be a full beard. Since product is allowed, this is an opportunity to style your beard into anything you want. 

5) Natural Goatee

This one's for all the biker dudes and would-be wizards. The natural goatee is any facial hair grown only on the chin, upper and lower lip. No product is allowed.

6) Verdi

The lumbersexuals are coming out of the woodwork for this one. The verdi is part of the full beard category: It should be short and round, and cannot exceed ten centimeters (it will be measured from the bottom of the lip). Feel free to throw in some product. 

7) Garibaldi

For this category, think Santa Claus. Also part of the full beard category, the garibaldi should be wider and more round at the bottom. This bad boy needs to be longer than the verdi, but cannot exceed twenty centimeters.

8) Natural Styled Beard with Full Moustache

For all you dudes who have a killer beard and some nice hairy stuff going on above your upper lip as well, this is your category. Product and styling is allowed in the moustache only, so it’s a party up top and all business at the bottom.

9) Natural Full Beard

It’s all natural, baby. If you’ve spent the last year just letting that thing grow, get on the stage. This category is judged only on natural growth of the beard, so no throwing in any product.No funky stuff, either, like curling the bottom of that thing.

10) Full Beard Freestyle

This category is a fan favorite. Similar to the partial beard, this one encourages competitors to go crazy. Product is allowed and creativity rewarded.
11) Whiskerinas

Give a shout out to all the ladies who wish they had a cool beard. This contest encourages them to create one out of anything.  Let your faux hair shine!

12) Yeard

It’s time to say goodbye. Should you decide to sign up for the Yeard, prepare to take the stage for a nice straight-razor shave — and then walk away with a pink baby face and maybe a prize. On Saturday the 2014 competitors will be judged on the length of beard they grew over the past year; competitors who sign up this round will come back in 2016 for judging.

The Boulder Facial Hair Club Beard and Moustache Competition is a fundraiser for Rocky Mountain Cancer Assistance; the fee for competitors is $25 and spectator tickets are $10. The contest kicks off at 5 p.m. Saturday, October 24, at the Best Western Plus Plaza in Longmont, 1900 Ken Pratt Boulevard. Visit to purchase tickets or for more information about the event, as well as a pre-party Pub Crawl through Longmont on Friday evening and the hangover brunch on Sunday.

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Lauren Archuletta is a contributor for Westword's arts section, covering Denver's health and wellness scene. Follow her work for tips on cheap workouts and which yoga classes include mimosas and beer.