Camobooty -- For Manly Hunters Who Want Boobs on their Chest

Camobooty -- For Manly Hunters Who Want Boobs on their Chest

A modest television commercial proposal for Camobooty, the Denver-based fashion craze that’s currently sweeping the nation:

FADE IN:

Two burly hunters, STEW and LEW, are lying on the forest floor, their rifles at the ready.

LEW: Darn it, Stew, there’s somethin’ different ’bout you today. Like you got yourself a little more class. Heck, like you downright got yourself a little more sass!

STEW: Well, Lew, didn’t you notice my camo?

Lew takes a good look at Stew’s camouflaged shirt and does a double-take.

LEW: Jumpin Jehosaphat! Them’s ladies on yer shirt! Naked ladies!

STEW: That’s right, Lew. I got big-boobed Betties all up and down my long-sleeve tee and head bandanna. They’re straddling each other in every which way, and best of all, they’re in camouflaged colors so the mooses don’t see me when I put hot lead in their brain plate. (beat) I’ll tell you a secret: They’re on my boxers, too, just to keep me comp’ny, if you catch my drift.

LEW: Can I see…

STEW: No.

LEW: Darn it, Stew! (beat) Where’d you get such hot duds, Stew?

STEW: Why, from CAMOBOOTY, of course! You can find them on them-thar Internet at www.camobooty.com, and they have a storefront they open up on special occasions at 34th and Navajo.

LEW: That’s great, Stew! But I don’t think Curley Sue’s ever gonna let me git near any of that naughty stuff with a ten-foot beanpole.

STEW: Just git her some, too! For the ladies there are Camobooty camisoles, ribs tanks with lace, even booty shorts!

LEW: (visibly excited) Booty shorts!

STEW: That’s right. And there’s four color schemes to choose from: Foxy Pine, Snowy Angels, Heartbreak Pink and Bushy Vixen.

LEW: (looking hot around the collar) Oh wow. Maybe I’ll git her some for Chanukah.

STEW: (confused and worried) Chanukah?

LEW: Just kiddin!

The two laugh.

LEW: (looking lasciviously at Stew’s head) Hey, uh, Stew, do you think I could borrow them-thar bandana and take it behind them-thar tree…

STEW: No.

LEW: Darn it, Stew!

CUT TO CAMOBOOTY LOGO

ANNOUNCER: Cambooty – For manly hunters who want boobs on their chest.

FINAL FADE OUT. -- Joel Warner

We use cookies to collect and analyze information on site performance and usage, and to enhance and customize content and advertisements. By clicking 'X' or continuing to use the site, you agree to allow cookies to be placed. To find out more, visit our cookies policy and our privacy policy.

Newsletters

All-access pass to the top stories, events and offers around town.

  • Top Stories
    Send: