Arts and Culture

Charlie Sheen is hiring a social media intern, and we're throwing our hat in the ring

Charlie Sheen has a lot going on right now; giving interviews to anyone with a camera and microphone, getting fired, battling for custody of his kids, going bat-shit crazy and winning, duh. But he's not too busy to capitalize on his social media prowess.

Sheen recently set the Guinness World Record for fastest person to a million followers on Twitter, and he's looking to build on that. On Monday, he posted an ad for a social media intern for TeamSheen. The position will "allow a hard-working, self-motivated, creative, resourceful and social media-savvy individual to work closely with Charlie Sheen in leveraging his social network."

Applicants have seventy-five characters to explain why they're winning. We got a tiger blood transfusion at age two, so here are some of our seventy-five character pitches:

Combo tiger, lion, shark blood. Un-addicted self from heroin mid-binge.

What says winning more than my seventh grade badminton trophy?

I only buy blow-up dolls of the 'goddess' variety.

I'm on a drug, it's called Charlie Sheen; mixed with tiger blood of course.

First job out of college was as a "total bitchin' rock star from Mars."

Built huge Twitter following by quoting a tv star who is publicly going nuts.

Graduated at top of class. Imagine what I would have done with my fire breathing fists.

With the crazy you're spewing I can't screw this up.

Will work for seven-gram rocks because that's how I roll.

KEEP WESTWORD FREE... Since we started Westword, it has been defined as the free, independent voice of Denver, and we'd like to keep it that way. With local media under siege, it's more important than ever for us to rally support behind funding our local journalism. You can help by participating in our "I Support" program, allowing us to keep offering readers access to our incisive coverage of local news, food and culture with no paywalls.
Kyle Garratt
Contact: Kyle Garratt