Sorry to let you down, ladies, but it seems Hugh Hefner -- commonly known as "The Sexiest 84-year-old since Bea Arthur died" -- went ahead and put a ring on it. The lucky lady? The 24-year-old Crystal Harris, who made her name on the reality series The Girls Next Door, in which she alliteratively competed with identical twins Kristina and Karissa Shannon to be the object of Hefner's romantic attentions. Congrats on the win, Crystal.

Old Hef confirmed the announcement a few hours after tentatively making it on Christmas day, via Twitter:

When I gave Crystal the ring, she burst into tears. This is the happiest Christmas weekend in memory.less than a minute ago via TwitterrificHugh Hefner
hughhefner

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Yes, the ring I gave Crystal is an engagement ring. I didn't mean to make a mystery out of it. A very merry Christmas to all.less than a minute ago via TwitterrificHugh Hefner
hughhefner

Now that's classy. For Harris, it was probably about the best Christmas present a girl could get, the only thing better perhaps being a lax prenup. And even though some might call Hefner "damaged goods" on account of his previous two marriages, we're betting he's been saving himself since his official divorce From Kimberly Conrad (what is it with this guy and alliterative K-sound names?) earlier this year.

So here's wishing you a long and steamy marriage, Crystal Harris. Because that is what you want, right?