Damn the man: Top five places to breastfeed in public

When a lactating mom was told to "wrap it up" at a LoveSac store in FlatIron Crossing recently for breastfeeding her kid there (interesting coincidence, and the store itself has nothing to do with breasts, but isn't "LoveSac" a weird name of a store to get kicked out of for breastfeeding? You'd almost think they'd encourage it), she took it to the best place you can take your grievances: the internetz. There, it caught the attention of self-described "lactivist" Kristine Lauria, and a "nurse-in" -- wherein breastfeeding moms mob a store to, well, breastfeed -- is on the table. In the meantime, here are five other places you can stick it to the man by whipping out the old mammary.

05. Johnny Rockets The breastfeeding wars in Colorado (which also included a scuffle between Coors Field and a breastfeeding mom at a Rockies game and ended in the Rockies apologizing), are just part of a greater movement, it seems. At a Johnny Rockets in Kentucky just last month, mom Corday Piston was asked by a Johnny Rockets manager to do her feeding in the restroom. Nay, Piston said, and organized a protest.

04. The Mall In May and then later in June, two mothers took up the broadsword of justice at their local malls. In Cedar Rapids, Iowa, a woman told a security guard where he could put it after he "hassled her" for breastfeeding -- but in Frederick, Maryland, the mall didn't even know what it was getting into when officials told attorney Ann-Marie Luciano to move it to a designated area. Luciano filed a complaint with the Maryland attorney general, then organized a nurse-in, 200 strong.

03. John Ashcroft's personal vicinity Apparently tired of hearing his press conferences snarkily referred to as "breast conferences," John Ashcroft spent $800 of taxpayer money to cover up the one exposed boob of a statue of "The Spirit of Justice" at the U.S. Justice Department's offices. But you know what, John? You can cover up the boob of the spirit of justice, but you cannot kill the boob of the spirit of justice. It's everywhere. 02. In an iPhone app that is also a comic-book adaptation of James Joyce's Ulysses All right, so technically this one is physically impossible, but it's still noteworthy. As part of Steve Jobs's never-ending and quixotic quest to rid the Internet of smut (it'll never happen), Apple nixed a comic-book adaptation of Ulysses on account of illustrations of a few breasts. Really, Steve? If Joyce were around today, it would sadden him, and then he would probably write a story about having deviant sex with your wife. 01. Facebook For coming up on two years now, Facebook has had an official ban on photos of breastfeeding, explaining that breasts fall within the realm of its obscenity clause, though apparently non-nip-revealing shots are okay. In response, 11,000 mothers changed their profile pics to depictions of breastfeeding -- a virtual nurse-in. When will these people ever learn? You can't stop smut on the Internet, and you certainly can't stop it if it's not even smutty. Right on, breastfeeding moms. Fight the power.
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Jef Otte
Contact: Jef Otte