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@DRUNKHULK makes statements in all caps, in turn making us LAUGH HARDER!

DRUNK HULK is possibly a one-of-a-kind Twitter profile -- the fictional character (created and existing solely for Twitter) uses the 140-character format to take big topics on in a simplistic way, expelling fairly complex thoughts using clunky sentences. He (or creator, writer Christian A. Dumais, rather) also does so in all caps, making his statements about fashion, politics and drinking mixed with bad puns more funny. In fact, it has been making us reevaluate why WE DON'T PUBLISH ARTICLES IN ALL CAPS ALL THE TIME. Thanks, DRUNK HULK, for the idea! As advocates for making Shark Week an actual part of our lexicon, we can align with DRUNK HULK on this idea of becoming Shark Week. Every week should be Shark Week, and everything should be Shark Week. Like "Dude, that girl was so fine, she was looking like Shark Week," or "I am so hungry, my stomach feels like straight Shark Week right now." DRUNK HULK might be the only person (fictional or otherwise) who really understands our desire to use Shark Week in every inappropriate form possible, because, like him, we just want to be a part of popular culture. Poor DRUNK HULK. If this did happen, it was only because he has "drunk" in his name. Because they seem to just give babies away to anyone who is famous and wants a baby to look good next to their Birkin. DRUNK HULK may have uncovered the reason behind the latest study that shows Colorado to be the drunkest, most drugged-out state in the country: Because we aren't having nearly enough sex. We invented Crocs. Those awful shoe-things exist in way too many colors (don't get us started on the Broncos edition) and are worn by way too many people. People who couldn't possibly be getting laid, because they, these grown men and women, wear Crocs. Good call, DRUNK HULK.

We also frequently try to adopt babies and get turned down because we are drunk -- and then we tweet about it! Follow @WestwordCulture right now!

And while you're at it, like us on Facebook!

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Keep Westword Free... Since we started Westword, it has been defined as the free, independent voice of Denver, and we would like to keep it that way. Offering our readers free access to incisive coverage of local news, food and culture. Producing stories on everything from political scandals to the hottest new bands, with gutsy reporting, stylish writing, and staffers who've won everything from the Society of Professional Journalists' Sigma Delta Chi feature-writing award to the Casey Medal for Meritorious Journalism. But with local journalism's existence under siege and advertising revenue setbacks having a larger impact, it is important now more than ever for us to rally support behind funding our local journalism. You can help by participating in our "I Support" membership program, allowing us to keep covering Denver with no paywalls.

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