Eleven memorable lines from the Laugh Track Comedy Festival

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8. Brad Galli:

"Their slogan should be 'Golden Corral, your feelings can be edible,'" Galli said last night, unleashing his body issues on the crowd. Discussing his "man boobs" and all the unconventional self-loathing that comes with them, Galli explained that he's dealt with the affliction since the pubescent age of thirteen. "The same time a girl starts to develop, I also developed. But society doesn't care about man boobs. There's no Judy Bloom books for us. There's no Dear God, It's Me, Bitch Tits."

7. Brett Hiker

Like Anker's slow-baking jokes, the audience also needed a few seconds to really feel the punch of Hiker's witticisms. Take for instance, the jaw-dropping irreverence of this celebrity illness wisecrack: "Time traveling is fun, but if you do it three times you get Parkinsons."

6. George P Gordon III

After being encouraged by his friend to try out all the "road pussy," available to touring comedians, Gordon mused "in theory, that sounds kind a cool: Casual sex, with a complete stranger, in a strange town. That sounds rad. . . . Until you refer to it as 'Road Pussy!' That don't sound good at all. . . . Road Pussy sounds like something you'd get at the State Fair in West Memphis, Arkansas: 'Yeah, let me get a funnel cake, a deep friend snickers bar and some of that good-ass Road Pussy. And make it snappy, Three Dog Night's about to go on!'"

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Josiah M. Hesse
Contact: Josiah M. Hesse