Arts and Culture

Five toys for girls that need a gender makeover

Page 2 of 2

5. Play Circle Marketplace shopping cart.

The description underneath this toy shopping cart is adorable: "Your little one will shop 'til she drops with this marketplace shopping cart. This adorable play set includes a purple shopping cart and a wide variety of play food. With 31 pieces, it is sure to keep your little shopper happily occupied for hours." What should keep the parents of these little shoppers occupied is the realization that by buying this toy for their female children, they are perpetuating the idea that it's a woman's job to shop for groceries.

Actual shopping carts are usually a gender-neutral, metallic silver color -- not p*ssy petal pink. Maybe toy manufacturers should just make silver/gray carts. Then parents can teach their children that men AND women can both buy the wrong zero-cal sodas, accidentally get the shitty razors, and grab the box of super-absorbent tampons instead of the super-mega-ultra absorbent ones.

4. Kidkraft Pink Retro Kitchen and Refrigerator Play Set. Comfortable middle-class parents can spend $149.99 to make damn sure their little girls know who belongs in the kitchen. This pastel pink kitchen playset comes with a pink oven, a pink stove, and a pink refrigerator/freezer stack; all it's missing is a set of pink shackles and chains to attach to the ankles of little girls on one end -- and to the pretty-in-pink oven on the other end. (Maybe the chains are sold separately?) Actual ovens are not usually pink -- matter of fact, most of them are gender-neutral colors like cream, taupe or avocado. And a little boy who doesn't get to pretend-cook with a more masculine kitchen setup will grow up to be grown-ass man who couldn't heat up a can of soup if there wasn't a woman there to show him how to use a f*cking can opener. 3. KidKraft Pastel Smoothie Set.

Taking the time and effort to eat healthy is clearly a woman's issue, at least according to this girly-pink smoothie blender playset. Apparently little boys don't have to worry about their weight or body types, ever. While women are expected to conform to a conventional, height-weight proportionate standard of beauty, men can stuff cheddar corn up their asses and mainline non-light beer until their gut-flaps hang over their pants like hairy, flesh-toned doilies. Would offering a blue blender set be weird? No weirder than sending the message that eating fruit is for girls.

KEEP WESTWORD FREE... Since we started Westword, it has been defined as the free, independent voice of Denver, and we'd like to keep it that way. With local media under siege, it's more important than ever for us to rally support behind funding our local journalism. You can help by participating in our "I Support" program, allowing us to keep offering readers access to our incisive coverage of local news, food and culture with no paywalls.
Jenn Wohletz
Contact: Jenn Wohletz