When it comes to everything, Denver is the best city. Hands down. Our women are sexier, our men more agile, our homeless people more aggressive and our hard-ons more raging. We've got better bands, better teams, better cheese-steaks, hell, we've even got better meth -- that's right, we're looking at you, Albuquerque; guess you didn't get the memo that they cut your truck-stop meth with diesel and hooker-sweat, whereas ours is as pure as the driven snow. Perhaps that's why we're not only going to be up all night killing the spiders, we're also going to trounce you at the Geek Bowl.
The Geek Bowl, of course, being Geeks Who Drink's annual inter-city throwdown, where literally tens of teams from all around the country gather to throw down their pocket protectors in an all out brawl of semi-worthless knowledge. "It's the largest live-hosted pub trivia event in the U.S.," boasts Quizmaster-in-Chief John Dicker. "Last year at the Gothic, it sold out in less than three hours, so this year we're moving it to a bigger venue."
That venue would be the Fillmore Auditorium, which in all likelihood has never seen more giant heads supported by alarmingly small necks -- this year's event will draw geeks from such luminary cities as Philadelphia, Austin, Boulder, Colorado Springs, Albuquerque -- sheesh, even your name sucks, Albuquerque -- and probably Seattle, Dallas and Houston. The gauntlet doesn't get thrown down until January 29 -- tickets don't even go on sale until December 15 -- but GWD is wasting no time stoking the controversy, just as it did last year, with shit talking.
And who better to talk shit than former Westword resident shit-talker Adam Cayton-Holland, a man so smug and snarky even his Wikipedia page is smug and snarky? In fact, Cayton-Holland's been what Dicker calls GWD's "designated instigator" for a couple of years running now, and this year, he's doing it again. Here he is on Albuquerque:
In your face, Albu... whatever. Your name's not worth spelling again.
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