If you've always dreamed of sending killer routes up rock faces but aren't so down with the "outdoors" thing, your prayers have been answered: Vaguely-named game producer Human Soft plans to bring a climbing video game to the Wii.
Called (gag) Hardgrip, the game will reportedly allow users to "experience the thrill and adrenaline of free soloing some of the most amazing rock walls in the world with vertigo-inspiring graphics, a pulse-pounding soundtrack, and dizzyingly realistic climbing action." Well, as realistic as you can get in the comfort of your living room, or your parents' basement, as the case may be.
Here's a couple reasons why this game is fated to eat a whole buncha ass:
1) Video games are kind of antithetical to the climbing ethos (uh, being outside?), so I'd be surprised if any real climbers are involved. If they are, they're hacks.
2) 'Lifelines?' Do they mean 'ropes?'
3) It looks like the climber is ascending some sort of Mayan temple. That's a big environmental no-no--remember the whole Dean Potter/Delicate Arch climbing fracas? That shit got him fired from Patagonia.
But perhaps I'm wrong. Maybe this thing will somehow live down its woeful origins and go on to become the Guitar Hero of Boulder or something. Even Eldo has rainy days.
Keep Westword Free... Since we started Westword, it has been defined as the free, independent voice of Denver, and we would like to keep it that way. Offering our readers free access to incisive coverage of local news, food and culture. Producing stories on everything from political scandals to the hottest new bands, with gutsy reporting, stylish writing, and staffers who've won everything from the Society of Professional Journalists' Sigma Delta Chi feature-writing award to the Casey Medal for Meritorious Journalism. But with local journalism's existence under siege and advertising revenue setbacks having a larger impact, it is important now more than ever for us to rally support behind funding our local journalism. You can help by participating in our "I Support" membership program, allowing us to keep covering Denver with no paywalls.