Holy crap, have we forgotten how much the computer has made our lives easier. We're not talking about the non-stop stream of free porn -- we're talking about word processing. What's word processing? Well, if you've forgotten (or weren't born yet), word processing was how we first were able to type up documents without having to use a typewriter. In fact, as robot teacher Kim Komando shows us on her bulky VHS series The Komputer Tutor, using the computer for word processing saves time and money. On top of eliminating the need for White Out and scissors for literal cutting and pasting (LOL), a computer word processing program like Word Perfect can also remove the need for a dictionary, thesaurus and a book of grammar rules (though the Internet has now eliminated grammar, thankfully.)
In this step-by-step instructional video, Komando tells us how to align paragraphs, merge documents and save your work with the greatest of DOS-prompted ease. But she takes zero crap when explaining how to save a letter you've just written, simply telling you to call the document "thanku," because that's what it is. It's a thank you letter, genius.
Komando's big hair and shitty attitude might make it hard to pay attention to the valuable skills you'll be learning, but that's what the Muzak is for. Just behind the Komputer Tutor's instructional drivel, a soft-sax version of The Bangles' "Eternal Flame" plays subtly, functioning just like a soothing and hellish dentist office soundtrack. We wonder if Kim Komando has an instructional video on how to use our new pager.
Keep Westword Free... Since we started Westword, it has been defined as the free, independent voice of Denver, and we would like to keep it that way. Offering our readers free access to incisive coverage of local news, food and culture. Producing stories on everything from political scandals to the hottest new bands, with gutsy reporting, stylish writing, and staffers who've won everything from the Society of Professional Journalists' Sigma Delta Chi feature-writing award to the Casey Medal for Meritorious Journalism. But with local journalism's existence under siege and advertising revenue setbacks having a larger impact, it is important now more than ever for us to rally support behind funding our local journalism. You can help by participating in our "I Support" membership program, allowing us to keep covering Denver with no paywalls.