It was hardly six hours ago that I bitched about "the tragedy-sploitation vortex of product placement and media pandering" the tenth anniversary of 9/11 will inevitably engender, in my commentary on "Cartoonists Remember September 11," the joint effort ofa group of the Sunday paper's worst comics to commemorate the anniversary of the attacks
. And then, just like magic, along comes an example of exactly that phenomenon so perfect it couldn't possibly be more perfect if Jesus had custom-tailored it just for me: From the maw of St. Louis publisher Really Big Coloring Books, beholdWe Shall Never Forget 9/11
, a coloring book dedicated to teaching your little ones about "a radical Islamic Muslim extremist terrorist group."
Actually, make that "freedom-hating radical Islamic Muslim extremists," (see paragraph 3 below), since one reference to Islam is probably not enough to convey that Muslims hate freedom. Luckily, as the book helpfully illustrates, they will also get their just desserts.
"In this book," the publisher's synopsis informs us, "you will see what happens to a terrorist who orders others to bomb our peace loving wonderful nation." Because even if they hide behind one of their multiple heathen wives, as this illustration shows, America's brave counter-Jihadists are going to take them out anyway with a holy motherfucking bullet of justice and liberty. That's what happens.
I mean, that's just the truth, right? Today, Really Big Coloring Books publisher Wayne Bell told NBC, "We're not making statements. There's no statement attached to this book. This book is based on market research. It's based on what people tell us they're looking for," Bell said. Welp, I guess the Muslim outrage over all this is just one big, elaborate misunderstanding.
Still, Bell said that same thing when he published The Tea Party Coloring Book for Kids, so... well, let's just say maybe it's a little political.
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More reading: "Tea Party Coloring Book Selling Like Hot Cakes"