Breeality Bites

How to survive Super Bowl XLVIII if you hate the Broncos or don't care about football

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Tip #1: Stay off of social media If you're like me and can't give up your Facebook, Twitter and Instagram addictions for a whole two weeks, at least promise yourself you'll log off on February 2. If your newsfeed looked anything like mine during the AFC Championships, just know it's going to be ten times that bad. From play-by-plays by your friends who have scarily transformed into amateur couch announcers to pictures of disgusting Broncos-themed seven-layer dip, nothing will be off limits.

Save your sanity and stay away from the bowels of the Internet for one day. Because believe me, after the 300th consecutive update about some player "doing it wrong," you're going to be tempted to start a fight with a person who, outside of this temporary bout of foaming-at-the-mouth Broncos-rabies, is actually your friend. And no amount of social media bickering over a game that neither of you have anything to do with physically is worth losing a friend.

Tip #2: Stay away from public places with televisions At home, you have the power to turn it off. But just know that anywhere you try to go on Super Bowl Sunday will probably have a television, and it will be tuned to the game. This means avoiding bars and restaurants, obviously, but also car wash/auto mechanic waiting rooms, laundramats, gas stations, grocery stores, thrift stores and all of the other weird places that America has decided need TVs.

Tip #3: Find something else to do Seriously, this is not going to be a leisurely Sunday afternoon, no matter how hard you try. You're going to have to keep yourself occupied if you're going to be successful at the two tips above. Not because you have to be near a television at all times or can't stay away from Facebook -- but yeah, that's kind of what will happen. I know because I am a person who tweets from the toilet and will watch anything on a television if it is on.

So make a plan, dude. See a movie, go for an epic bike ride, take a Zumba class. (And don't just go to the gym -- sports freaks hang out there, too, obviously. And when the masochists on the treadmill aren't watching the Food Network, they're watching sports on the shared televisions.) Maybe catch that exhibit at the Denver Art Museum you've been meaning to see some weekend when you aren't binge-watching/catching up on Season Two of Girls.
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Bree Davies is a multimedia journalist, artist advocate and community organizer born and raised in Denver. Rooted in the world of Do-It-Yourself arts and music, Davies co-founded Titwrench experimental music festival, is host of the local music and comedy show Sounds on 29th on CPT12 Colorado Public Television and is creator and host of the civic and social issue-focused podcast, Hello? Denver? Are You Still There? Her work is centered on a passionate advocacy for all ages, accessible, inclusive, non-commercial and autonomous DIY art spaces and music venues in Denver.
Contact: Bree Davies