Into the Woods

To hell with Black Friday. I’m not going to go bust the doors open at the mall tomorrow morning. Nope! And to hell with Turkey Day, too. Bombs away! I’m going to bundle up the family and go shopping today at the massive crown jewel of north Stapleton, that Mexican-game-show-style nature museum in the big-box de-sert, where men are men, as are the women and children. Yes, I’ll be joining the open-mouthed crowds of fishermen and moose huntresses at Bass Pro Shops Outdoor World. Because guess what? It’s OPEN on Thanksgiving, and even if you wouldn’t hurt a fly, there’s still plenty to do there besides buy guns and hunting knives. What with the waterfalls and shooting ranges and stuffed wolves and climbing walls and fishin’ holes and all, it’s on par with getting lost in the woods, for Pete’s sake, even though you’re actually indoors the whole time.

Come holiday time, if you can believe it, Bass Pro Shops Outdoor World carries the whole thing a whopping duck boot further by also hosting its Bass Pro Shops Classic Christmas. How they’ve managed to cram in more attractions, I’ll never know, but while the hubby’s working off the mashed potatoes by rooting through down vests and fishing flies and such, the kid and I can go back in time for free at Santa’s Wonderland, with its live elves and hands-on Lionel model trains, remote-control cars and oh-so-nostalgic Red Ryder Laser Arcade. Santa and his reindeer will even sit for photos come the weekend (and every weekend through Christmas), when holiday crafts projects will also be offered for the kiddies. That, folks, is what I call full service.

Bass Pro Shops is located at 7970 East 49th Street in Stapleton and open 364 days a year; for details, go to or call 720-385-3600.
Thu., Nov. 27, 5-9 p.m., 2008

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Susan Froyd started writing for Westword as the "Thrills" editor in 1992 and never quite left the fold. These days she still freelances for the paper in addition to walking her dogs, enjoying cheap ethnic food and reading voraciously. Sometimes she writes poetry.
Contact: Susan Froyd