This knowledge serves no other purpose than that it oddly feels good to know, right? Like I'm a part of something bigger than myself, not to mention that I feel superior to these people for all their embarrassing deficiencies -- it's basically the same thing as religion. As much as I don't want to admit it, the media machine that keeps us abreast of celebrities' every action is providing the American people with a truly valuable, and perhaps even spiritual, service.
The fact that celebrity gossip feels good means that, like drinking, sex and religion, it'll never go away. I will always know more about Kim Kardashian than I do about my next door neighbor. A lot more. And perhaps I don't want to see my neighbor in a racy body suit, but I would like to at least know his dog's name, or what kind of beer he likes. Sadly, I have no time to get to know my neighbors better, because I have the Kardashians to keep up with, and they give me a dose of vicarious friendship whenever I need it, without all the messy stuff that comes with having to look up from my smart phone to address someone.