Lady Gaga's vagina: Creativity, and five other things you can get from there

Reports are widely circulating about September's issue of Vanity Fair, which features a nude Lady Gaga on the cover -- and rarely can content compete with nudity, but in this case, the actual interview might be more interesting. Revealing she rarely has sex, the Lady thus spake: "I have this weird thing that if I sleep with someone, they're going to take my creativity from me through my vagina." If that's the case, then who knows? The Gaga vajay could be a portal to all sorts of riches. Here's our top five things you might get from Lady Gaga's vagina: 05. A fifty-foot flame At least part of Gaga's creativity is her ingenuity with stage props (check out Cory Casciato's review of the show last week), so if she keeps here creativity in her vagina, perhaps it follows that she keeps the props in there, too. 04. $62 Million That's what the Lady made last year -- the results of her creativity. If that's what it nets you, then we can see why she wants it all -- but wait, what if the "creativity" and the "money" are really just code for the same thing? Let the great vagina heist begin. 03. A team of savvy accountants Somebody's got to optimize that cash flow. She may live large, but Lady Gaga is no spendthrift -- she's a wise investor who knows how to keep smart people where her money is. 02. An adorable bunny rabbit! Because what would a gag about pulling things out of other things be without a rabbit-in-the-hat reference? Maybe one of the accountants has a pet. 01. No STDs, apparently Nothing going in, nothing coming out.
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Jef Otte
Contact: Jef Otte