Macky Auditorium to unveil 100-year old time capsule. What will they pull out of there?

In celebration of 100 years of being an auditorium, the Macky Auditorium at CU-Boulder will unveil on Friday at 4 p.m. a time capsule that was buried at the time of construction exactly 100 years to the day before. In an interesting twist, CU officials were able to surmise from construction papers that the capsule had been buried -- but exactly where it was, nobody knew; they only recently figured it out. Our question is, if they didn't even know where the thing is at, how are they going to know what's inside? Freaky. Get our top five predictions after the jump. 5. A collection of fashionable mustaches of the era Back in the Edwardian Era, men had style -- from Theodore Roosevelt to William Howard Taft, these stout-hearted men of substance proudly sported lip-locks without reservation, as if to say: "Despite the harsh conditions of our day, ne'ermore shall my upper labium suffer frigidity." Perhaps those bygone heroes could teach us all a lesson.
4. Ye olde medicinal marijuana Similar in medicinal properties to today's "Purple Urkel," the "Ye Olde" strain of of cannabis provided relief for many ailments of the day such as the shingles, "mule knee" and having your mind locked in a cage, man.
3. One tell-tale heart For 100 years, it's been a plague on CU-Boulder, which all the while has been trying to act casual about it. Friday, officials will finally admit the deed: it is the beating of his hideous heart! By which, of course, we mean Ward Churchill.
2. Polio Along with smallpox and several strains of "mule knee," polio lurks within several disease-infested blankets that were buried in the capsule instead of offered to Native Americans as consolation prizes for their colonization. Sorry about that.
1. One of the same desktop computer models they're still making us use at the Westword office Amiright over here?
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Jef Otte
Contact: Jef Otte