Martha Stewart Comes Home to Stapleton


When Cat arrived in the office this morning, a sign of the coming apocalypse was sitting on her chair. In a couriered envelope -- one that screams, "I'm important, the world could be ending, look at me" -- was a press kit. Not just any press kit, but one with this headline: "KB Homes and Martha Stewart Living Omnimedia Announce First Community In Colorado."

Yep, the world is indeed ending.

Apparently, the domestic diva/jail bird will be lending her name to a new build out in Stapleton.

"I'm so pleased to offer our beautiful, impeccably designed, and affordable homes in Denver's rapidly growing Stapleton neighborhood," Stewart said in the release. "Denver is a vibrant city with a vast number of things to do, especially for those who enjoy the outdoors. Now, with our superb homes in our first Martha Stewart-KB Home community in Colorado, the 'Mile-High City' is more attractive than ever."

Affordable you say, Martha? You must lay off the meth or crack or whatever is currently wreaking havoc on both your skin and your mind. The houses start at $300,000. That hardly qualifies as affordable, even at 1,593 to 2,084 square feet.

But what do you expect from someone who had an elevator lift for her car, so she wouldn't have to park and then come up to her office, and, you know, run the risk of running into people who were homeless, or worse, need to live in such "affordable" homes. (Cat worked in her building and has known many, many people who have been employed by her. Let's just say that not a lot of compliments flowed in Martha's direction.)

And when, you ask, will this new neighborhood be complete? Fall 2007. Get in early -- you know, before the landscaping has any hope of looking like the lovely photos.

Want to see these well-designed homes for yourself? Cat put together a little slideshow, so nobody need miss out on what Martha Freaking Stewart designed for our ever-so-grateful nabe.

Oh, but wait, when Cat dug deeper into the press packet, Cat found that Martha held no special affinity for us. No, she also designed her homes for Houston and California. In fact, there's even a six-page story from the April 2007 issue of Houston House & Home included, which touts "Walk inside a KB Home designed by Martha Stewart for the WoodCreek Reserve community in Katy, and you feel like you're stepping into the pages of Martha Stewart Living magazine."

And the story in the San Diego Union-Tribune attribute Martha as saying her homes offer "a very nice California lifestyle."

Well, at least we were "vibrant."

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Amy Haimerl