In MaryJanice Davidson's new book, My, Myself and Why?, the self-proclaimed "inventor of paranormal chick-lit" takes a run-of-the-mill FBI agent main character and gives her dissociative identity disorder -- otherwise known as multiple personalities. But that isn't just a challenge she has to face: "They're not solving crime in spite of their psychoses, it's absolutely because of them," Davidson told Westword's Amber Taufen.
So when we decided to give away our copy of My, Myself and Why, we asked you to tell us: What's wrong with you, and how have you used it to your advantage? Today, we announce the winner of that contest.
We got some great answers from our readers, and truly, it was tough to make a determination -- luckily, our sociopathic lack of empathy made it a little easier.
Of the honest answers that we got -- and there were a few -- probably the most intriguing was this one from Tracey Q, who seemed to be the only person with an actual disorder:
I have an auditory processing disorder, which basically means that it takes a few seconds more for me to decipher what people are saying to me than it does most. Training my mind throughout my life to work around this issue has made me not only a better listener but also made me slow down and think things through when people ask me questions. Yeah, I still ask people to repeat themselves more than most people do, but when I hear something people know that I really heard it and am paying attention to them.
Sadly for Tracey, we always go for the joke answer -- and we got pretty close with this fatalistic reply from JAtt, who also touched our heartstrings, and our refined sense of schadenfreude, by bitching about his lack of a job in the journalism profession. Thanks, JAtt! Now we feel better about having this crappy job.
After four years and thousands of dollars, I earned a useless journalism degree and have no job prospects.
On the bright side, I've been able to spend all my unemployed free time reading MJD's Undead Series.
It was a tough call, but our favorite came from Bryan M., who clinched it by being funny and confirming what we all suspected in the first place: Insurance adjusters are assholes.
I assume everyone is a liar on some level, I enjoy chaos, and I love to say "NO!". I finally found my calling when I got hired as an insurance claims adjuster!
Well played, Bryan, and we hope you contract a rare disease that gives you horrible boils and denies your claims. In the meantime, you win a book!
To everyone else, thanks for playing, and remember: When life hands you shit, make, uh, shit punch... or something.
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