4

Monday Night Football: That's what she said?

^
Keep Westword Free
I Support
  • Local
  • Community
  • Journalism
  • logo

Support the independent voice of Denver and help keep the future of Westword free.

The game of football has a long, storied tradition of homoerotica: the spandex pants, the frequent bending over, the sweaty, man-on-man grappling -- it's a classic case of Sparta syndrome: athletic, highly ritualized body-worship. And though uncomfortable fruit-salad shots and gratuitous ass-slapping are by no means unusual in a televised football game, did it seem to anyone else like last night's Broncos vs. Chargers bout got extra, well, gay?

I mean really, I haven't seen that many "that's-what-she-said"-isms in two hours since the last time I watched Top Gun ("You two really are cowboys"). Here's a selection of my favorite:

  • "Kyle Orton is working on his deep ball game"
  • "He needs to deliver that package right into the pocket"
  • "He's a big, strong, tall target"
  • "He's had two magnificent sacks"
  • "They've hit a lot of those deep balls this year"
  • So many deep balls. Or should we say... balls deep? To make matters even grosser, by the middle of the third quarter, announcer Jon Gruden was pretty much openly hand-jobbing Chargers Quarterback Phillip Rivers. Aside from the several unsettling montages featuring butt-rock ballads and Rivers winking in ultra slow-motion -- which was just weird -- Gruden reserved the creepiest line of the night just for Rivers: "The best thing he could do was kind of push it forward and push it forward."

    Push it real good. Follow us on Twitter!

    Keep Westword Free... Since we started Westword, it has been defined as the free, independent voice of Denver, and we would like to keep it that way. Offering our readers free access to incisive coverage of local news, food and culture. Producing stories on everything from political scandals to the hottest new bands, with gutsy reporting, stylish writing, and staffers who've won everything from the Society of Professional Journalists' Sigma Delta Chi feature-writing award to the Casey Medal for Meritorious Journalism. But with local journalism's existence under siege and advertising revenue setbacks having a larger impact, it is important now more than ever for us to rally support behind funding our local journalism. You can help by participating in our "I Support" membership program, allowing us to keep covering Denver with no paywalls.

    We use cookies to collect and analyze information on site performance and usage, and to enhance and customize content and advertisements. By clicking 'X' or continuing to use the site, you agree to allow cookies to be placed. To find out more, visit our cookies policy and our privacy policy.

     

    Join the Westword community and help support independent local journalism in Denver.

     

    Join the Westword community and help support independent local journalism in Denver.