Need help picking out back-to-school clubwear? Kassandra is here to help

Attention back-to-school shoppers: We have found the ultimate source for inappropriate classroom attire. Her name is Kassandra, and she hosts the AMIClubwear channel on YouTube.

While there's no verification that she's addressing teenagers specifically, we are guessing by her outfit choices and attention to dress codes that this couldn't possibly be for adults. Unless adults need help picking out Hello Kitty purses.

First we have to address the note that scrolls by at the beginning of the video, letting picky viewers know that the channel apologizes "for the sound in this video," because apparently, someone "forgot to turn our modelling fans off." No biggie. Happens all the time.

Thankfully, Kassandra gets down to business right away, showing how you no longer need friends, because your cardigan will be your bestie. Actually, screw the cardigan. She doesn't want to cover up that rad graphic t-shirt that inexplicably reads "dance like a wavin flag." What that means we're not sure, but hopefully you can get your hands on one of these.

Other things we like about Kassandra's back-to-school round up? She shows us how to make our "sexy club bandage dress school appropriate," simply by throwing a tank top underneath to clean up a plunging neckline and bare back. This is definitely a common concern for most people, for sure. Kassandra then goes on to address the pants-suit craziness that ensued this summer, as well has what kind of giant, tacky bag one should use if a backpack isn't the right fit.

If you've dropped out of school or you've just resigned to being that person in college that still thinks its okay to wear scrubs or SpongeBob SquarePants pajama bottoms in public, don't fret. Kassandra and the AMIClubwear crew have plenty of other videos for you, including, but not limited to: "What to wear to comic-con," "Full Blown Florals" and one titled "Ethnic, Tribal and Aztec." Is it just us, or do you smell ignorance too?

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Bree Davies is a multimedia journalist, artist advocate and community organizer born and raised in Denver. Rooted in the world of Do-It-Yourself arts and music, Davies co-founded Titwrench experimental music festival, is host of the local music and comedy show Sounds on 29th on CPT12 Colorado Public Television and is creator and host of the civic and social issue-focused podcast, Hello? Denver? Are You Still There? Her work is centered on a passionate advocacy for all ages, accessible, inclusive, non-commercial and autonomous DIY art spaces and music venues in Denver.
Contact: Bree Davies