It's hard to write a list of New Year's resolutions that apply to the real world while I'm physically sitting in the altered reality known as vacation. I mean, really. I'm supposed to figure out everything I want to improve in my life -- a life that entails e-mails, deadlines, alarm clocks and cold-ass temperatures -- while I'm relaxing in a pair of booty shorts with "Hawaii" stamped on the butt on a balcony that faces the beaches of Waikiki?
But it is this thought exactly that has me reexamining my usual resolution mania in the first place. So for 2014, instead of making a laundry list of unrealistic expectations for the coming year, I'm going to trim it down. And it is going to involve not much more than seeing more palm trees.
There are a few reasons I've decided that 2014 will be the year of minimal unrealistic bullshit -- for starters, I'm too old. Being unrealistic is really tiring and besides, if Buzzfeed has taught me anything, it's that your thirties are all about comfort and being, like, a boss or something. I'm an old, tired boss who has no interest in impractical nonsense.
The second reason for not loading up my 2014 with a big, steaming pile of irrationality is because I fell in love in 2013. Falling in love doesn't mean there isn't still plenty of room for improvement in my life, but now that I'm here I understand -- at least a little bit -- that being in love means being totally terrified and fearless at the same time, all the time. Besides, why would I want to self-improve until I pass out when I could be spending all those hours with my honey?
Another reason I don't want to make an impractical line-after-line prediction of how 2014 should roll out is because I actually want to do something with my year. The best way to do something isn't to write it down, but to, uh, do it. Inspired by a friend's recent Facebook post touting the benefits of just doing it -- she moved from New York to L.A., changed careers after two decades in a business she knew well, lowered her blood pressure, got engaged, etc., etc. And you know how she did it all? Certainly not by making a list.
So instead of a list, I will resolve to see more palm trees. That's it. And however or where ever I see more palm trees manifests itself, I know that it will mean I'm out of Colorado during those time. Because the palm trees at Water World and Casa Bonita (as much as I want them to count) don't count.
I went to see Henry Rollins speak in Boulder a few years ago, and he said something to the effect of, if you need a vacation from your life, you need to reexamine your life. Basically, you shouldn't have to take time off from life in order to enjoy it. I'm taking this idea to heart because I'm not interested in more vacations, though the one I'm on right now is unbelievably lovely; I'm just interested in more daily life that resembles a vacation. And I could always use more excuses to wear stretch pants every day of my life -- especially if I can wear them with a bikini top.
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