We're all used to personality tests like the Myers-Briggs that determine the inner workings of our psyches based on sane, practical issues like whether we prefer to read a book rather than go to a party, or if we find it difficult to talk about our feelings. But the Pierley/Redford Dissociative Affect Diagnostic that's been making its way around the internet throws sanity out the window, purporting to determine your personality through making you answer questions like "Which shape can control your mind?" by choosing between ghostly, quivering blobs. The quiz explains its methodology in the beginning with a bunch of psychology babble:
These shapes are based on neutral linkage maps from the brains of reptiles and primitive mammals, ancestors to mankind. Associated questions have been culled from the communication methodologies of those with dissociative personality disorder in order to probe the link between emotional understanding and language.
Then after the twenty totally disturbing questions and pulsing shapes that look like they might induce a seizure, the test leaves you with a pretty standard personality diagnosis about how you interact with others as well as a haunting feeling that you were probably somehow traumatized by this creepy, bizarre experience.
Take the quiz for yourself to find out your personality type and prepare to have nightmares about menacing shapes for the rest of your life.
We Believe Local Journalism is Critical to the Life of a City
Engaging with our readers is essential to Westword's mission. Make a financial contribution or sign up for a newsletter, and help us keep telling Denver's stories with no paywalls.