There were a lot of things wrong with Erin Roberts-in-a-chicken-suit's victory over me in Wednesday's epic Man vs. Pigeon race -- like, she was on a moped and I was on a bicycle, for starters, meaning she is a cheating cheater who cheats. But Roberts didn't just win the race; she also won the online poll predicting who would win the race. And, as estimable reader Dwayne J. Stephenson points out, there's a lot wrong with that, too.
This is clearly an example of everything that's wrong with politics in this country. The Erin Roberts in a chicken suit vote is for cowardly goddamned middle-of-the-roaders everywhere. Vote for the meatbag with mustache or vote for the fucking pigeon. There is no real third option.
Thanks, Dwayne, and may I add that "meatbag with mustache" is an incredibly apt description of me. As for you, Roberts, you will rue the day.