Debates and Discussions

Reader: Puke green bridesmaid dress colors my memory

Truth is definitely stranger than fiction -- especially when it's all gussied-up in a bridesmaid's dress. In honor of Bridesmaids, the featured movie at Film on the Rocks tomorrow (the festivities will also include the premiere of the Nix Bros.-produced video for T.J. Miller's Denver), we asked people to bring out their best bridesmaid story -- whether it involved the worst dress or the worst-behaved groomsman, or both -- to win two tickets. See also: Share your worst bridesmaid dress (or worst story), win tickets for Bridesmaids Bridesmaids has been "fixed" by and for dudes Summer Guide 2012: Film on the Rocks

Contributor Amber Taufen couldn't resist unveiling her own horror story:

I was in a wedding five states away and was asked to order the dress (which can be charitably described as HIDEOUS) six months in advance to ensure it came out of the same dye batch. (Heaven forbid it be a slightly lighter or darker shade of puke green than everyone else's dress.) I went to David's Bridal to try on the style -- which is a whole story in and of itself; that place is terrible -- and picked it up a few weeks later, hanging it up in my closet and forgetting about it, without trying it on. The night before we were getting ready to drive to the wedding, I figured I should try it on ... and it was too tight. WAY too tight. I got it zipped up -- barely -- by completely flattening my chest and not breathing at all. So my options were a) to not eat for the four days leading up to the wedding, or b) to find a David's Bridal somewhere along my route to the wedding and exchange Hideous Dress #1 for a Hideous Dress that fit me properly. Thirty minutes from my destination, I managed to exchange my way-too-tight dress for another in the same style and color that actually fit me. (Probably didn't come out of the same dye batch, though.) No time to hem or alter it in any way. But the bride never had a clue. (I also managed to get dirt, chocolate and a stuffed mushroom on my dress in the span of one day, and I threw it away as soon as I got home -- it was too ugly to inflict on anyone else, even Goodwill.) Worst $250 I ever spent on an outfit ... and the shoes were even uglier than the dress.

What's your best bridesmaid story? There's still time to enter our contest here.


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Patricia Calhoun co-founded Westword in 1977; she’s been the editor ever since. She’s a regular on the weekly CPT12 roundtable Colorado Inside Out, played a real journalist in John Sayles’s Silver City, once interviewed President Bill Clinton while wearing flip-flops, and has been honored with numerous national awards for her columns and feature-writing.
Contact: Patricia Calhoun