4

Real Steel is this week's most ridiculous trailer

^
Keep Westword Free
I Support
  • Local
  • Community
  • Journalism
  • logo

Support the independent voice of Denver and help keep the future of Westword free.

In the future, people will go apeshit for fighting robots. That's apparently the half-assed premise of Real Steel, producer Steven Spielberg's latest bid to let technology do the work for him -- this time around in a more literal sense than usual -- in which Hugh Jackman plays an incredibly handsome schmoe who's down on his luck and has some sage words to say about the future non-sport, such as, "the crowd, they never change. They just get bigger."

It's a premise with many flaws, but chief among them is that watching robots fight just doesn't look very, you know, entertaining. Much like this movie, actually.

The reason it doesn't look entertaining (and by "it," I mean both the fictional sport and the movie) is basically summed up by Jackman himself in the trailer's voice-over: "The human body can only take so much. But the steel never stops."

That's meant, of course, to be an endorsement -- if people can fight, imagine how much better robots can fight, amiright? On the surface, yes, perhaps, but there are two fundamental fallacies at work here: 1. If the steel never stops, as you say, Hugh Jackman, than riddle me this: How can there be a winner or a loser? If the steel never stops, then a fight between two steel things essentially has no stakes. 2. And more importantly, adding the suggestion of infinite capacity to a contest between two things doesn't make it better, it makes it boring.

Hear me out: The whole reason we watch sports like boxing or mixed martial arts in the first place is to see the limitations of the contenders -- for the viewer, the punishment is the reward. All making robots fight does, then, is to remove the whole reason we were watching -- the contest no longer means anything. You might as well make robots run marathons. Fuck it, have robots star in this movie. Who gives a shit?

Plus, there's no blood. And you know how we love blood.

Read a real review of Real Steel!

Follow us on Twitter!

Like us on Facebook!

Keep Westword Free... Since we started Westword, it has been defined as the free, independent voice of Denver, and we would like to keep it that way. Offering our readers free access to incisive coverage of local news, food and culture. Producing stories on everything from political scandals to the hottest new bands, with gutsy reporting, stylish writing, and staffers who've won everything from the Society of Professional Journalists' Sigma Delta Chi feature-writing award to the Casey Medal for Meritorious Journalism. But with local journalism's existence under siege and advertising revenue setbacks having a larger impact, it is important now more than ever for us to rally support behind funding our local journalism. You can help by participating in our "I Support" membership program, allowing us to keep covering Denver with no paywalls.

We use cookies to collect and analyze information on site performance and usage, and to enhance and customize content and advertisements. By clicking 'X' or continuing to use the site, you agree to allow cookies to be placed. To find out more, visit our cookies policy and our privacy policy.

 

Join the Westword community and help support independent local journalism in Denver.

 

Join the Westword community and help support independent local journalism in Denver.