A very scientfic study consulted engineers and physicists to logically rank the various weaponry from science fiction from least powerful to most powerful, according to “devastation in joules.” Of the 69 weapons listed, four were from the Star Wars universe: AT-ATs, Han Solo’s Blaster, lightsabers and the Death Star. (Five, if you include Mega Maid, from Spaceballs, which naturally we should.) It’s the most well-represented film on the roster, and no wonder: Star Wars is arguably the most influential science-fiction phenomenon in pop-culture history. (Trek fans, stop hyperventilating and go back and read our recent interview with William Shatner. There. All better?)
Evidence of Star Wars cultural significance? We have a holiday devoted to its celebration: May 4th (as in: May the Fourth be with you, which is what Jedi with lisps say). This year, Star Wars Day shares a Saturday with Free Comic Book Day, so there are a lot of Star Wars/comic book crossover events (including an appearance by Star Wars ship designer Colin Cantwell). But if you want your Star Wars celebration pure and undiluted by other fandoms, where in the Denver area can you go to yub-nub it up? Here are your top five events that are lightsaber-friendly, padawan:
Star Wars Brunch
Saturday, May 4, 10 a.m. to 2 p.m.
4401 Tejon Street
$40 to $145
Let’s start with brunch, which might be exactly what Darth Vader was interrupting when he crashed the party on Cloud City in The Empire Strikes Back. (Damnit, Vader, all we wanted was some cantaloupe!) Luckily, no Sith will interrupt the Star Wars Brunch at the Monkey Barrel, where teams will compete in trivia contests. There’ll be a Star Wars-inspired menu and specialty drinks, and various specials and giveaways. Reservations are required; no word on the availability of blue milk.
Fourth Annual ArtWar
Saturday, May 4, 8 p.m.
1405 Curtis Street
Free for pre-registration, $20 at the door
Cosplay is highly encouraged at this ArtWar event honoring the visual impact and general fandom of the Star Wars universe. There will be dancing at a “not-so-silent disco,” with special galactic drinks from both the Dark Side and the Rebel Alliance (apparently the Jedi have to abstain, and the Empire is above such frivolities). All this takes place in a space completely decked out with Star Wars art by local artists, much of which will be available for sale. Also, they promise those droids you’ve been looking for. Pre-register before the event to get free admission; otherwise, it’s $20 at the door there, Greedo.
Star Wars Burlesque
Saturday, May 4, 9 p.m.
The Gold Room
18 South Nevada Avenue, Colorado Springs
$15 to $25
Okay, sure, there will probably be a lot of slave-Leia outfits running about Colorado on Saturday, but this event, put on by the Champagne Cabaret, is the only one with professionals doing it. And are you likely to see a sexy C-3P0? A ribald R2 unit? A shapely Skywalker? Eh, maybe. But if you make the hyperspace jump down to the Springs, you can see it all in one place. It’s probably wise to get your tickets ahead of time; ticket prices go up at the door. Just do, or do not. There is no try.
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May the Fourth Brew Run
Saturday, May 4, 10 a.m.
5535 West 56th Avenue, #107, Arvada
If you fear being mistaken for the Rancor Keeper — or just like to keep in fine Jedi-leaping shape — then you’d do well to check out the May the Fourth Brew Run, where you can enjoy a short and social 5K(ish) route along flat and friendly Ralston Trail. Dress to impress in your best Star Wars-themed running togs — or full Stormtrooper armor, if you want a real challenge, and end the run with a cold beer from Odyssey, complete with a custom pint glass and coaster, and fun and galactic games of all types. Dog- and family-friendly, by the way. Kids under twelve run free.
May the Fourth Be With You Star Wars Bar Crawl
Saturday, May 4, 4 p.m.
Larimer Beer Hall
2012 Larimer Street
$15 to $45
If you prefer your Star Wars Day-related movement in a crawl rather than a run, embrace your inner Jabba (or related Hutt) and show up at the Larimer Beer Hall for a night of Denver bars that have the Death Star-sized cojones to compare themselves to Mos Eisley Cantina. Meet a Gonk Droid at the Giggling Grizzly; quaff a Qui-Gon at the Ginn Mill; Grand Moff a Tarkin at the Tavern Downtown; offer up a Wookie Howl at the Moon; or even jive with a Jar-Jar at Jackson's. (Wait — scratch that last one. No one wants to meet Jar-Jar.) These bars may not be wretched hives of scum and villainy, but, hey, they’re doing their best. Just leave the droids at home; none of these joints serve their kind.
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