Sucker Punch is this week's most ridiculous trailer

If you can take anything from the eyeball-overload trailer of Sucker Punch, it's that the movie seems to hinge on some kind of dissociative-identity fantasy world: In order to overcome her real-life oppressors, a girl must first defeat the enemies in her own mind and learn some important lessons about... something. Actually, we take that back: Nobody is going to learn any lessons here. The important thing is, it's a fitting plot-line to accompany a trailer with more personalities than Cybill, all as hyperactive and utterly lacking in charm as The Mask -- don't remember that one? That's kind of the point.

At first it's all death and bad luck, like

Lemony Snicket

(actually, the perpetually worried-looking Emily Browning starred in that series as well) and some lost Roald Dahl rape scenario all rolled into one. That lasts about thirty seconds, and then the Zep kicks in and we have a sort of

Girl, Interrupted

interpretation of


(has anyone ever actually looked that panicked while cleaning floors?), which, after we are told through screen text that "reality is a prison," sort of morphs into a weird

Charlie's Angels

sort of scene. And then it


gets weird.

Is that the set of Black Swan? Why are there hot chicks everywhere? Is she wearing a Sailor Moon suit? Is this Zelda?

Whatever it is, it's predictably what happens when the guy who did The 300 makes a movie about chicks: a really long homage to his own fetishes -- stylized violence and huge tits, we're guessing -- which roughly equate both in style and substance to those of a teenage boy.

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