In any marital dispute, sometimes you need a little outside input; you think you're right, they think they're right -- you need someone objective to come in and make the call. Problem is, every time you call in somebody objective, you somehow end up pantsless, in handcuffs and covered in grain alcohol, and three weeks later, you have to go to court on some kind of crazy "domestic violence" charge. Luckily, Jerry Seinfeld is here to help, as the executive producer of The Marriage Ref, a show that gives it to celebrity judges -- who are way cooler about it than the cops -- to declare the winner. Tomorrow, the casting producers of that show come through town, and they're looking for you.
"We're looking for big personalities, interesting people," says Lande Yoosuf, an associate casting producer for the show. "And we're looking for an argument that's worthy of a referee."
Arguments about pets, for example, do not often make the cut: "We get that all the time."
Yoosuf also says that, perhaps above all, the show is looking for stuff that's funny -- it's not really a reality show or a game show so much as a comedy with real people, she asserts. But you got this: You're at least funny in a Run Ronnie Run kind of way.
If you make the show, how it works is that episode features three couples who argue, and the panel of judges deliberates as to who's right. At the end of the show, one member of one couple is declared the "most right," and in season two, that person gets $25,000, a second honeymoon with their loser spouse and a billboard in their hometown that says "I Was Right," which is pretty much all you've ever wanted. That ups the ante considerably from season one, in which the winner just got the honeymoon -- which, who wants to take a honeymoon with someone who's wrong all the time?
Is your interest piqued? Then all you have to do is show up at the casting call with your stupid, stupid partner and an argument in mind. You'll fill out a little paperwork and then interview on-camera with a casting producer for anywhere between 20 minutes and an hour. After that, don't call them; they'll call you.
The producers will be holding auditions all day Friday and Saturday at the sites listed below; just show up at any of them except the Sheraton Downtown, where you'll need an appointment -- you can set one up by emailing email@example.com or firstname.lastname@example.org, where you can also direct any questions you might have.
Casting Call Locations Friday:
Southwest Plaza 8501 West Bowles Avenue, Littleton Lower Level, near the Gap 10 a.m. to 8 p.m.
16th Street Mall At the corner of 16th and Welton 12 p.m. to 6 p.m.
Park Meadows Retail Resort 8401 Park Meadows Center Drive, Lone Tree Vista's Court, indoors, near Borders 10 a.m. to 8 p.m.
Sheraton Hotel Downtown Denver 1550 Court Place 11 a.m. to 8 p.m. By appointment only
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