The Pasties Are Calling

It might not be traditional to celebrate St. Patrick's Day with half-naked women, but the time could be right to embrace a new tradition, particularly since this one involves the lovely women of Burlycute and the always-bawdy Cora Vette, aka Reyna Von Vett.

“We have Vivienne VaVoom's Guinness act, where she's a giant, six-foot-tall Guinness glass and takes a bath in Guinness, and she also has an Irish mermaid that she does,” explains Von Vett. “We'll have a strip-teasing Irish step-dancing finale, and we'll have the Lucky Charms leprechaun -- that's Whoopsie Daisy – and an old-grandma, saggy-boob act by Anabella La Fontaine. I'll take on the challenge of a heartfelt version of 'Danny Boy,' and I believe I will do 'It's a Great Day for the Irish.'”

Von Vett is even trying to get “Pukin' in the Parking Lot (We Aint' Leavin' Till We're Heavin')” on the roster, because “St. Patrick's Day always involves someone who drinks too much. We're keeping it classy, as usual,” she notes. “We've got a lot of stuff happening that's going to be crazy, green and drunk.”

Catch it all at the inaugural performance of St. Pasties Day, scheduled for 7 p.m. tonight at Bender's Tavern, 314 East 13th Avenue. Admission is $10 in advance and $12 at the door; for more information, go to www.benderstavern.com.
Thu., March 17, 6 p.m., 2011

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Amber Taufen has been writing about people, places and things in Denver since 2005. She works as an editor, writer, and production and process guru out of her home office in the foothills.
Contact: Amber Taufen