This just in: Treadmill desk may ward off death in sedentary women

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Office workers of the world, rejoice! There is now a cure for the flat ass-syndrome that seems to creep up on the backsides of anyone who's job requires sitting in a chair for nine hours a day, and it is called the Walkstation. What is the Walkstation, you ask? Why, it is your worst nightmare -- a desk attached to a treadmill. Now, those dozens of emails you send a day can feel even more like monotonous factory work as you are forced to walk on a treadmill, the most boring of all exercise equipment, while you do it.

Though the treadmill-desk actually hit the market in 2007, it came to our attention after a recent study suggested that the more you sit, the sooner you die. Yes, believe it or not, people whose jobs are largely sedentary are also, coincidentally, unhealthy. But there is some good news -- for dudes, anyway: The study also found that women are more susceptible to this type of premature death than men, by 19 percent.

We're not sure what's more depressing -- the fact that a treadmill-desk exists, or the comments made in the original story about Dr. Alpha Patel, who led the study. Apparently, Patel herself was a real couch potato at home and on the job, and after her findings revealed that not moving around might make you die sooner, she changed her ways.

"Patel says she always had a hard time sitting still in front of the TV. Now, she channels that extra energy into multitasking endeavors. She tries to fold laundry while watching her favorite shows. She knits," the piece claims. If a doctor has a hard time just watching television, it is obvious that the rest of us are screwed.

Now if only the treadmill desk powered our computer, made coffee, had a toilet attached to it and surfed Facebook for us, we would be in business.

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