What do you get when you combineThe Blair Witch Project
?The Virginity Hit
, apparently. Because the world suffers from a distressing lack of coming-of-age comedies about adolescent boys engaging in all sorts of zany hijinks in the pursuit of getting laid for the first time, the virginity hit is bringing that old chestnut back once more, this time with a twist that feels both homespun and vaguely like date rape. Let's take a look.
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Observe at right around second 50, when things go wrong. What's weird is that, while the movie plays the female character's dismay at finding a camera as a crazy mishap, it glosses over what the discovery simultaneously and unintentionally brings home: that what's going on in the scene is actually an awful, awful thing to do to someone. If the upbeat pop music were replaced with minor-key strings, this exact scene could easily be recast as the violation reenactment of an Oxygen series about teen sexual behavior gone criminally awry.
But let's not get too preachy here. Aside from the cheerfully rampant misogyny, what makes this trailer particularly strange is the addition of a toll-free number at the end, which the filmmakers encourage you to call if you're still a virgin. Since, due to our extremely rare and unfortunate "projectile acne," we fit that qualification, we called the number, which took us to a series of recorded messages from Zach, another one of the main characters, and ended in Zach inexplicably informing us that "if you call a girl a spider monkey, you won't be a virgin for long."
We're no experts or anything, but somehow, we feel that may not work.