Fashion

Toddlers & Tiaras hits a new low with fake breasts on babies

Thanks to TLC's Toddlers & Tiaras, the semi-conscious portion of the population has gotten a glimpse into the totally bizarre world of children's beauty pageants since 2009. One episode of this program is more than the average person ever needs to witness, but thanks to The Today Show, we were reminded today that the parade of childhood depravity still exists. This week, a contestant grapples with the idea that other kids don't know who Dolly Parton is, and also that fake boobs on a preschooler are weird.

Mid-clip, lunatic stage mom actually says "I don't think the little girls in the pageant know who Dolly is." Pardon us, but no shit. Why would a four-year-old would have any concept of Dolly Parton? The better question is, why would a four-year-old ever wear fake boobs?

The only sane individual in this nightmare senario seems to be the strange stylist guy -- who, while primping mini-Dolly's hair, says he's not a fan of the artificial cleavage. Though it is hard to take this Latisse-addicted gentleman seriously as a he sprays a child's wig with aerosol hairspray, he has a point. She looks just as cute without fake breasts. And the spandex one-piece. And the spray tan.

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Bree Davies is a multimedia journalist, artist advocate and community organizer born and raised in Denver. Rooted in the world of Do-It-Yourself arts and music, Davies co-founded Titwrench experimental music festival, is host of the local music and comedy show Sounds on 29th on CPT12 Colorado Public Television and is creator and host of the civic and social issue-focused podcast, Hello? Denver? Are You Still There? Her work is centered on a passionate advocacy for all ages, accessible, inclusive, non-commercial and autonomous DIY art spaces and music venues in Denver.
Contact: Bree Davies