Late last night's lunar eclipse was the best night ever to be a conspiracy theorists and/or drug enthusiast. We're talking about a remarkably boring visual spectacle -- the moon very slowly turned red. That didn't stop The Internet from producing comprehensive documentation of the "excitement." Youtube videos are our favorite, because of the built-in opportunity for live, late night crackpot commentary. We've picked the five best.
5. Zoomin' in. Nice. I know it looks just a black screen guys, but keep watching. He'll be zooming in. And, ya know, that one movie told him the world's gonna end in two years. So be looking out for that, and keep it smooth in the meantime. No way this guy wasn't a late-night DJ in college.
4. Conservative New Media gets the X-TREME 1080dpi He was out there for forty minutes, guys, doing blow and gettin' his extreme zoom on. Our favorite part of this one is the contrast between his enthusiasm in the intro and then the inevitable mind-numbingly boring actual footage.
3. Actual high quality footage Alright, we'll throw a bone: This actually did look pretty nifty. And while it's not technically Youtube, William Castelman definitely took the most impressive video of last night's eclipse. Nicely done with the Debussy soundtrack as well. Almost makes us want to care about this thing.
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2. Fueled by hooch and paranoia Why, exactly, did your sniper rifle need a good cleaning while you were recording the eclipse, buddy? Because you have a private militia ready for when the werewolf alien democrats start raining down from the heavens? See how the light doesn't totally disappear, people? That's the government slipping in their massive coverup. Doesn't matter what. They're coming for you.
1. All night long from Dallas Ah yes, the magic of the free-flowing human brain in the middle of the night, totally free of editing. This dude touches on all the magic: 2012, werewolves, science. He gets bored about halfway through, but that doesn't stop him from continuing to film/talk. THE PEOPLE NEED TO SEE THIS! Make sure you get all the way to the end for the signoff: "Boooring. Fuck this, I'm about to go jack off."