While it may be true that the two reviews we've run on the Sarah Palin documentary The Undefeated have not been favorable, we didn't mean to make the Teabaggers and Palin-supporters who have deluged us with angry comments so furious -- we just thought the fact that Palin's movie sucked balls was indisputable to everyone. But we don't want to fight, Tea Party, and to prove it, we're offering up an olive branch: these adorable kitten memes, sporting some of our favorite, most inspiring quotes from Palin herself. As everyone knows, no one can be mad at a kitten, so we'll be accepting thank-you comments below after you enjoy your leader in an even more adorable form than usual. Fire Belly Kitten No doubt, Palin's got a fire in her belly. She said it herself and, as we all know, everything that comes out of Palin's mouth might as well be scripted in stone -- that's how spot-on she is about everything. Just like this adorable little short-eared kitten, Palin will win the hearts of millions this next election based on nothing but her looks. God willing, that is. Prayer Shield Kitten You know what's better than a fire in your belly? A fucking prayer shield in front of your goddamn face. Bam! The fire belly/prayer shield combination is what makes Palin a formidable foe to any wimpy, noodle-spined Democrat. Look out, Obama; you may have been President for the last few years, and a senator before that, but those credentials pale in comparison to a heated belly and a shielded front. Geography Kitten Palin noted, on her trip to India, that Japan was basically halfway between Alaska and India. Well, you know what? She was correct! Right on, Palin. Any doubt in your intellect caused by the fact that you don't know whether or not we're at war, what exactly Paul Revere did to aid in our revolution, or the correct usage of the word "enormity" was blasted into a thousand pieces when you busted out this piece of trivia. A lady and a scholar. Rapper's Delight Kitten To prove her ability to transcend racial stereotypes when asserting that rap is not poetry and rapper Common should not have been invited to the White House's poetry night, Palin would like the public to know that she, in fact, enjoys rap, and knows all the lyrics to "Rapper's Delight." We call Palin's bluff on this assertion, because "Rapper's Delight" is actually a pretty difficult song to memorize. Karaoke challenge, Mrs. Palin -- bring on the heat. Media Kitten Palin taught us all something very important: Never, ever trust the media. They're liars, sensationalists and oppurtunists. Pretty much any member of the media takes things out of context and misrepresents the truth. That's why it's best to write your own history. Go ahead. You don't even need facts if you don't want them. Because what are facts but some liberal's attempt at manipulative mind control?
We Believe Local Journalism is Critical to the Life of a City
Engaging with our readers is essential to Westword's mission. Make a financial contribution or sign up for a newsletter, and help us keep telling Denver's stories with no paywalls.