4

What week is it? A breakdown of everything you could be celebrating, February 28 - March 6

^
Keep Westword Free
I Support
  • Local
  • Community
  • Journalism
  • logo

Support the independent voice of Denver and help keep the future of Westword free.

In terms of reasons to justify what some negative Nancies would call your "excessive drinking" but you would call your "spirit of festivity," February has been a pretty lean month, leaving you with little to toast to but the bitter disenchantment of a life mostly squandered -- not that it's in any way your fault. But take heart, because the winter is almost over, and March brings the best reason to remain in a constant state of blotto since you found a beer helmet in the alley behind the titty-bar.

First, though, take an opportunity to rest up and prepare today by celebrating Public Sleeping Day, your lack of options for places not in public to sleep since they found your "nest" in the long-term storage facility notwithstanding. On the other hand, it'll give you an excellent reason to tell the cop who keeps telling you to move it along when you sleep in the dry fountain what's what.

But that's just a precursor to the real attraction, which starts Tuesday: March is the congressionally designated Irish American Heritage Month -- and what's more Irish than unchecked binge drinking? Shilelaugh, lad, ye'll be droonker than a fiddler's bitch! You can't, of course, be certain that your heritage is actually Irish since all the documents pertaining to your birth were lost when the shack-town you were raised in tragically got caught in a really strong wind, but you're pretty sure you are, because it's either that or a congenital birth defect you can attribute your skin color to, plus your favorite UFC fighter of all time is Jake fuckin' O'Brien.

Just for the record, it's also National Craft Month, National Frozen Food Month, National Nutrition Month (those last to seem kind of mutually exclusive, don't they?), National Peanut Month, National Women's History Month (best-case scenario, they stayed in the kitchen the whole time, amiright?), Red Cross Month, Social Workers Month and Poetry Month. And you know you've got that last one covered, because by the time you finish that fifth of Kilbeggan, you're bloody gonna be spouting lyrical ballads over there.

Keep Westword Free... Since we started Westword, it has been defined as the free, independent voice of Denver, and we would like to keep it that way. Offering our readers free access to incisive coverage of local news, food and culture. Producing stories on everything from political scandals to the hottest new bands, with gutsy reporting, stylish writing, and staffers who've won everything from the Society of Professional Journalists' Sigma Delta Chi feature-writing award to the Casey Medal for Meritorious Journalism. But with local journalism's existence under siege and advertising revenue setbacks having a larger impact, it is important now more than ever for us to rally support behind funding our local journalism. You can help by participating in our "I Support" membership program, allowing us to keep covering Denver with no paywalls.

We use cookies to collect and analyze information on site performance and usage, and to enhance and customize content and advertisements. By clicking 'X' or continuing to use the site, you agree to allow cookies to be placed. To find out more, visit our cookies policy and our privacy policy.