Thanksgiving is just around the corner, and with it, the blessed weekday off where not only is your pre-noon drinking non-problematic, it's downrightacceptable
. But Thanksgiving on Thursday won't help you get away with being drunk at work today -- and to that end, we've got you covered with all the obscure holidays you could possibly raise a glass to. This week, we get even more holidays that make ultra-specific foods somehow obligatory to eat.
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First off, though, today marks the start of National Game & Puzzle Week, the latter half of which is probably a reference to how brain-wracking it is to maneuver the car into the garage after that eighth Jäger-bomb. But games? Guess you didn't hear, ocifer, but this week, it's beer-pong night every night.
Tomorrow celebrates two foods that are not Turkey, but do both start with the letter C: cranberries and cashews. Want to show your patriotism by eating nature's most disgusting berry? Then go ahead, I guess, but it's probably best to just ignore that one in favor of National Cashew Day, which finally provides you the opportunity to demand your bartender fill the nut-bowl with what we like to call "the rich man's peanut."
On Thursday, the most important holiday of the week shares a ticket with the International Day for the Elimination of Violence Against Women, which always falls on November 25, but is extra easy to celebrate this year since it happens also to fall on Thanksgiving, when she'll be in the kitchen all day anyway.
If you're not in a mood to celebrate the great American tradition of going to the mall when everyone else goes the the mall on Friday, you're in luck, because it's also National Flossing Day. It's something you only do once a year anyway -- this year, why not make it a special occasion?