Thanksgiving has passed, which means that we're now in the midst of what's unofficially known as "holiday month," the month where we're relentlessly barraged with red and green strobelights and the not-so-subtle message to buy, buy, buy. But there's more to holidays than just buying stuff, and it can be easy to get so caught up in the spending frenzy that we forget the true meaning of all holidays: excessive drinking. And to a lesser extent, goodwill. To that end, we've got you covered with a breakdown of everything you could raise a glass to this week, that also doesn't require you to buy shit for other people.
And what better holiday to escape the onslaught of commercial tie-ins than today, November 29, which is National Electronic Greeting Card Day?
Or... actually, nevermind on that one.
Luckily, though, today is also National Square Dance Day, and that's something you can justify getting plowed for. Pull on them cowboy boots, pardner, and see if you can follow the complicated steps when you're three sheets. Or maybe it's just a good excuse to go to the cowboy bar and get even with your longtime nemesis, the mechanical bull.
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Damn you, mechanical bull!
With Wednesday comes the beginning of a new month, which in turn marks the start of the usual slew of awareness months -- December is Universal Human Rights Month, International Calendar Awareness Month, when apparently we just get extra aware of calendars, and National Bingo Month. And if you're not sure how you're going to relate bingo to drinking, then fret not, my friend, because we've got you covered there, too.
But perhaps the best obscure drinking holiday of the week -- and maybe just hands-down the best drinking holiday ever -- doesn't come until the ass-end of the week, on Sunday: Repeal Day, the day the national blight that was Prohibition was lifted and tossed into the ashcan of frightening history we'd rather not even think about. So let's drink to that, friends. Why not? The shit's legal.