Where's an avalanche when you really need one, aka Mr. Phelps goes to Telluride

In the category of "reality really is fucking stranger than fiction," the town of Telluride, home to some of the best skiing in Colorado, and some of the best music festivals in the world, has been targeted for invasion by a most unwelcome guest.

Fred Phelps, of the Westboro Baptist Church (seriously, even hardcore Baptists disavow this guy), will bring his demented followers, er congregation, er family, er whatever, to Telluride in the last week of February.

The occasion? Telluride is daring to host its seventh annual Gay Ski Week. The event, named the "Top Gay Ski Week" by, has grown over the years, and this year's event will feature all kinds of festivities, including Bloody Mary Breakfasts, the Blue Ball Dance Party, the White Night Party, and more. Of course, there will be skiing involved as well. The event is co-hosted by LOGO.

A gay ski week probably wouldn't be enough to draw Phelps' contingent of wackos, known for protesting at funerals of U.S. soldiers, amongst other charming things, up to Telluride. However, as part of the Telluride Gay Ski Week, Judy Shepard will be attending a fundraising dinner for the Matthew Shepard Foundation.

In its press release on their planned "protest," Phelps and his church write, "Just so you do not lose track, we will trek up the mountain, and grab a gondola to the middle of this swanky place to picket this old witch. Then we shall have some extreme picketing as we zip line back down the same wire that brought us up (ONE HANDED), while our signs flap in the wind."

Maybe we'll get lucky, and Phelps and his gang will end up going to the wrong area of town, where they can be blinded by white, as in this video, complete with cheers from the town. Dare to dream.

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Candace Horgan