Zookeeper is this week's most ridiculous trailer

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Ever since he started his career as a fat loser UPS driver in King of Queens, Kevin James has had a knack for fictionally scoring some unbelievably hot babes -- remember his wife in that show? She was smoking. Since then, in his various leading-man roles in film, James has apparently lost his touch a little, transforming from a fat loser whose knack for scoring ridiculously hot babes is apparently effortless to a fat loser who is terrible with women and thus requires a little extra help to land that ridiculously hot babe. The question always is, how will he do it? With a little help from a wacky cast of buddies and a plan so crazy it just might work, no doubt.

It's no secret that Kevin James is the new Adam Sandler, and in keeping with that,


is more or less the Kevin James edition of

Billy Madison

-- except while Adam Sandler was in his late 20s for

Billy Madison

and his cast of zany friends was third-graders, Kevin James is pushing 50, and his cast is made up of disquieting CGI animals. Oh, but check out that monkey! Isn't it hilarious how he sounds like Gilbert Gottfried trying to hock something out of his throat?

Given the premise of this movie, it comes as no surprise that it is not funny, but the level to which it is not funny is what really sets it apart. Did the music just stop for the monkey to say "slow down there, hotshot," you might be wondering. Was that really the punchline? Yes it was, and there will be much more, because what this trailer lacks in funny it makes up for in trying really hard to make not funny shit funny -- which, in trailers, is of course accomplished by the old stop-the-music-for-the-one-liner trick, employed here in the space of two minutes no less than eleven times for an average of once every thirteen seconds.

As we all know, a trailer for a comedy film must make that film look comedic, and thus must use the very best jokes from the movie -- meaning this is the absolute best Zookeeper has to offer. If this is what it takes for Kevin James to score smoking babes, maybe he should set his sights a little lower.

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