Still stuffing that condom into the dark crevices of your crammed wallet until the latex sheath decays? Make it a problem of the past by shopping at the Planned Parenthood gift shop, which boasts a slick storage method for your rubber buddy: The Crazy Condom Keyper, a key chain with an opening for the condom. Keypers cost $2.40 and come with spurts of sexual wisdom from such characters as a cartoon condom with a jazzy smile and sunglasses that reads "You've got to put me on," and a cow wearing red rubber boots that advises you to "wear your rubbers." For $1.50 more, you can also get matchbook-style condoms with a story about Dick and Jane. "See Dick with an erection. See Dick with no protection. See Dick with an infection." Everyone will be very impressed -- and, hey, you might even get lucky.

Weddings are hell to plan -- so much work for a mere lifetime of bliss. But the invitation you send out is a symbol of what you want yours to be like, so pick the perfect one -- right down to the flourishes on the typeface -- with the help of someone who knows what she's doing. Deborah Bodian has been selling invitations out of her home for several years, but she recently opened Paper Talk, a little shop decorated with gauzy swags, wired ribbon and fresh flowers. She also sells party goods, photo albums, metallic gel pens and unusual cards. It's a nice place to get away from the hustle and bustle of brides and grooms all trampling their way toward the altar, and it will help you get over having to invite your spouse-to-be's crazy cousins.

Best place to get a haircut after you get tattooed, pierced

Urban Renewal

Once you have your new body art properly in place, make sure you get back to Urban Renewal. Three hair stylists cut and snip the snazziest 'dos for hipsters of all ages. A women's cut goes for $30, a men's is $20, and every customer receives a "stress-relieving scalp massage." Mmmmmm. Scalp massage. Try to arrive too early, though, because you never know what you'll find yourself doing in the interim.
According to Don Rose, "The reason people sweat is so they don't catch fire when they make love." Now, who could find something more romantic than Don's great explanation for perspiration? Rose's poetic wisdom is just one factor that helps www.milehighheartbeat.com reach the pinnacle of romance. Deborah Wiig, a Web zine publisher and freelance editor, launched the site on Valentine's Day this year to offer resources for Colorado couples in search of relationship and romance tips. It offers a local guide for everything from entertainment to articles on such issues as divorce-proofing your marriage. The "Great Dates" section suggests creative ways to spend time with one another, like taking a walking tour of Denver or staying at home and baking cookies. The "It's About Love" section allows visitors to download romantic screen savers and magnetic poetry. There are book reviews, relationship quizzes, an advice column and romantic Colorado getaways. Everything you need for romance in the Rockies. Now there are no more excuses for a dull relationship.

Tired of sticking your foot in the door time and time again without getting anything but a sore foot? Let your fingers do the crashing: After you search www.denvergov.org for city job openings, you can apply right then and there and maintain an online resumé that you can update as needed. Simply click on the "citizens" icon for employment information, and take it from there. Happy hunting.

Anyone who relies on the bus to get around knows how important it is to be able to fine-tune your journeys, especially when you're trying out different routes. Now you can find out if your bus is running late, by clicking on "routes and schedules" at RTD's nifty informational Web site. If your bus is delayed by over five minutes, it'll be noted, and you can plan accordingly. RTD boasts that it's one of first transit agencies in the nation to provide such a service. Whether your bus itself is on time is another matter.

You could walk the planet five times over just looking for a pair of comfortable shoes. You could, but you don't have to: Dardano's, a family-run business that's been cobbling around town for sixty years, now hawks some of the comfiest footwear around -- such as Birkenstock, ECCO and Josef Seibel -- out in cyberspace. The site also gives sound orthopedic advice about foot ailments, as well as the skinny on how to care for your favorite shoes. So log on -- and take a load off your feet.

Where can you find a spot nanny who can also run errands, house-sit, walk dogs and curry the pony, all in one fell swoop? 2nd String Moms, a force of 25 started by a pair of recent DU graduates, are exactly what they say they are. They do it all -- or at least most of it: The only thing they won't do is your windows. But you can always ask.
We all need something to write on; some of us like it to be on something pretty, and we're not talking floral-patterned napkins here. But paper is one of those things gift-buyers can overlook, so the next time you're actually asked what you'd like for a present, you'll be ready: Fill out a wish card at Paper Pleasures, which stocks an abundance of beautiful paper, fine fountain pens, sealing waxes, handmade photo albums, rubber stamps of Chinese characters and other stationery items, and your benefactor will know exactly what you like and in what color. Now, don't forget to write a thank you note.
Choosing a wedding photographer is probably the most important decision a bride and groom will make. Even if the food is terrible or old Aunt Betty slips and falls into the cake, nothing's a bigger disaster than bad pictures --after all, long after old Aunt Betty's gone, you'll still be looking at your wedding photos. Moses Street knows this. Not only is he masterful with a camera -- he's been photographing weddings for more than 25 years -- but he teaches his subjects how to look good in pictures. Prior to the big event, he takes couples on a pre-wedding shoot in Rocky Mountain National Park to practice (he's based in Estes Park, but he does weddings all over the state). He captures the bride and groom from all angles on a digital camera and then lets them review the results to determine their best side and their worst smile. He also asks couples to bring some of their own photographs so he knows what they like and don't like. His specialties are artistic portraits and fun shots, although he'll do traditional lineups, too.

The wedding package starts at $3,200, which includes the engagement shoot (you pay extra for the photos themselves). It's a little steep, but not bad when you consider how much time he spends with a couple. And his theories on photography (which can take hours to explain) and just about anything else under the sun are thrown in for free. Don't forget to ask him who he thinks killed JFK.

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