It was enough to give you a very bad case of indigestion: There was Denver's mayor, Wellington Webb, performing meatball surgery at Maggiano's, a restaurant in the Denver Pavilions whose home base is in Chicago -- the city that had just stolen Boeing's new headquarters from us. But Webb, our biggest meatball, continued to pour on the sauce: "I offer thanks and congratulations to Maggiano's for their millionth meatball, and best wishes for a million more meatballs!" Yeah, and how about a million more peculiar proclamations -- Bill Stuart Day! Sister Ignatius Day! -- which the mayor's office spews out like an endless strand of spaghetti confetti.


According to www.yourcongress.com, Scott McInnis, who represents Colorado's 3rd Congressional District, ranks only 66th for power, but rates this haiku:

Hey Scott! Relax pal

Just what color is your hair?

It has changed often

According to www.yourcongress.com, Scott McInnis, who represents Colorado's 3rd Congressional District, ranks only 66th for power, but rates this haiku:

Hey Scott! Relax pal

Just what color is your hair?

It has changed often


The 2nd Congressional District rep is one tall drink of non-contaminated water, but on www.yourcongress.com, Mark Udall's haiku is short and sweet:

Looks like his old man

Environmentalist, too

Not a bad combo

The 2nd Congressional District rep is one tall drink of non-contaminated water, but on www.yourcongress.com, Mark Udall's haiku is short and sweet:

Looks like his old man

Environmentalist, too

Not a bad combo


Republican Bob Schaffer, whose third -- and final -- term representing the 4th Congressional District ends this year, is going out with a bang. His haiku on www.yourcongress.com:

Rocky Mountain Highs

Might be outlawed by this guy

Good thing Denver's dead

Republican Bob Schaffer, whose third -- and final -- term representing the 4th Congressional District ends this year, is going out with a bang. His haiku on www.yourcongress.com:

Rocky Mountain Highs

Might be outlawed by this guy

Good thing Denver's dead

Best Secret Message on a Congressman's Stationery

AMDG

Oooh, that sneaky Bob Schaffer: If he weren't keeping his initial campaign promise and getting out after his third term in the U.S. House of Representatives, we just might have to spank him. Ever since he was elected back in 1996, Schaffer, a conservative (and then some), has been sneaking the letters "AMDG" onto his official congressional stationery -- and even some of the pages of his Web site. Separating the church from the state, the initials stand for "ad majorem Dei glorium," which translates to "for the greater glory of God."

Best Secret Message on a Congressman's Stationery

AMDG

Oooh, that sneaky Bob Schaffer: If he weren't keeping his initial campaign promise and getting out after his third term in the U.S. House of Representatives, we just might have to spank him. Ever since he was elected back in 1996, Schaffer, a conservative (and then some), has been sneaking the letters "AMDG" onto his official congressional stationery -- and even some of the pages of his Web site. Separating the church from the state, the initials stand for "ad majorem Dei glorium," which translates to "for the greater glory of God."


Best Appearance by a Cat at the Colorado Legislature

Westy

The fur was flying when the still-recovering Westy, a cat set on fire and thrown to the side of the highway by two ne'er-do-wells last year, showed up at the State Capitol to testify for Senator Deanna Hanna's SB 48, which would make cruelty to animals a more serious criminal offense. As if to illustrate the severity of the crime, Westy was more testy than a gun lobbyist whose proposal had just been shot down -- screeching at strangers and spitting at a seeing-eye dog stationed under one chair. Meow.

Best Of Denver®

Best Of