Best Dinner Destination for Impressing the Folks

The Fort

The Fort Restaurant
Mark Antonation
You know what, Skippy? Mom's not going to be impressed by your souvenir shot-glass collection or that autographed poster of the Coors Twins hanging over your futon. And while Dad might appreciate the engineering involved in turning your roommate's fish tank into a giant six-hitter bong, you know he's not going to like it when you serve him Beefaroni and nachos on paper plates. So if your parental units are coming for a visit and you want to show them how far their progeny has come, just suck it up and make reservations at the Fort. Owner Sam'l P. Arnold has been making his bones (marrow-filled) at this restaurant-cum-attraction of the Old West for forty years. The gorgeous views from the Foothills, the decor (the restaurant sits inside a replica of Bent's Fort) and the food (bison tongue, bull testicles, gunpowder whiskey) provide more than enough diversion to keep the talk from straying too close to uncomfortable topics like how that philosophy degree they paid for still hasn't gotten you out of your job selling popcorn and Goobers to the crowds at the local AMC.

Best Dinner Destination for Impressing the Folks

The Fort

You know what, Skippy? Mom's not going to be impressed by your souvenir shot-glass collection or that autographed poster of the Coors Twins hanging over your futon. And while Dad might appreciate the engineering involved in turning your roommate's fish tank into a giant six-hitter bong, you know he's not going to like it when you serve him Beefaroni and nachos on paper plates. So if your parental units are coming for a visit and you want to show them how far their progeny has come, just suck it up and make reservations at the Fort. Owner Sam'l P. Arnold has been making his bones (marrow-filled) at this restaurant-cum-attraction of the Old West for forty years. The gorgeous views from the Foothills, the decor (the restaurant sits inside a replica of Bent's Fort) and the food (bison tongue, bull testicles, gunpowder whiskey) provide more than enough diversion to keep the talk from straying too close to uncomfortable topics like how that philosophy degree they paid for still hasn't gotten you out of your job selling popcorn and Goobers to the crowds at the local AMC.


Hooters
You want to celebrate. You want to break open a bottle of bubbly. But you don't want to bust the bank. Head straight for Hooters, where a skimpily dressed waitress will serve up an order of twenty wings and a bottle of Dom Perignon for a mere $139. That's a steal: A bottle of Dom alone sells for upwards of $160 at most liquor stores. This date may not be the most romantic, but the right person will appreciate its delightful tackiness.

You want to celebrate. You want to break open a bottle of bubbly. But you don't want to bust the bank. Head straight for Hooters, where a skimpily dressed waitress will serve up an order of twenty wings and a bottle of Dom Perignon for a mere $139. That's a steal: A bottle of Dom alone sells for upwards of $160 at most liquor stores. This date may not be the most romantic, but the right person will appreciate its delightful tackiness.


Best Dinner Destination for Impressing a Date

Deluxe

Deluxe
Dating is awkward enough -- you might as well do it in a place that gives you the edge. If you're a fella, what will impress the girl/guy of your dreams? Candles and soft music? Roofies and a prison tattoo? And if you're of the female persuasion, will your date be confused by any place setting more complicated than a paper napkin and a spork? Deluxe answers all those questions. The vibe is cool and sultry without screaming end-of-date sex. The lights are dim, the seating intimate -- but not so cozy that you'll be on each other's laps (unless you choose to be). And the retro-California menu provides enough variety -- from salsa-spiked oysters to filet of beef -- that anyone can find something suited to his or her tastes. Sure, there's a risk that your date might end up liking the restaurant more than your date likes you (and there's also a chance that among all the beautiful people gathered here, your date might find a better prospect while you're hiding in the restroom), but if the relationship is meant to be, there's no better place to get it started than over a plate of fusion dumplings and a couple of glasses of wine at Deluxe.

Best Dinner Destination for Impressing a Date

Deluxe

Dating is awkward enough -- you might as well do it in a place that gives you the edge. If you're a fella, what will impress the girl/guy of your dreams? Candles and soft music? Roofies and a prison tattoo? And if you're of the female persuasion, will your date be confused by any place setting more complicated than a paper napkin and a spork? Deluxe answers all those questions. The vibe is cool and sultry without screaming end-of-date sex. The lights are dim, the seating intimate -- but not so cozy that you'll be on each other's laps (unless you choose to be). And the retro-California menu provides enough variety -- from salsa-spiked oysters to filet of beef -- that anyone can find something suited to his or her tastes. Sure, there's a risk that your date might end up liking the restaurant more than your date likes you (and there's also a chance that among all the beautiful people gathered here, your date might find a better prospect while you're hiding in the restroom), but if the relationship is meant to be, there's no better place to get it started than over a plate of fusion dumplings and a couple of glasses of wine at Deluxe.


Best Dinner Destination for a Second Date

Brix

Second dates are tricky. You're comfortable enough in each other's company to make it through an entire meal without lapsing into sulky silence or trying to exit out the bathroom window, but neither of you knows yet how far this thing could go. If you're interested in going all the way, and you figure the other party is at least interested enough to give you a second chance, then Brix is the ideal setting for date number two. It's loud and crowded on a good night (making a stealthy escape still a possibility), the service is personable and the food is decidedly lowbrow but excellent. Besides, if the date is a total washout, there are plenty of other prospects crowding the long bar, and nothing makes for a better icebreaker among a certain class of rebound girls (or guys) than a fresh wound from a broken heart and a face full of gin and tonic.

Best Dinner Destination for a Second Date

Brix

Second dates are tricky. You're comfortable enough in each other's company to make it through an entire meal without lapsing into sulky silence or trying to exit out the bathroom window, but neither of you knows yet how far this thing could go. If you're interested in going all the way, and you figure the other party is at least interested enough to give you a second chance, then Brix is the ideal setting for date number two. It's loud and crowded on a good night (making a stealthy escape still a possibility), the service is personable and the food is decidedly lowbrow but excellent. Besides, if the date is a total washout, there are plenty of other prospects crowding the long bar, and nothing makes for a better icebreaker among a certain class of rebound girls (or guys) than a fresh wound from a broken heart and a face full of gin and tonic.

Vesta
Mark Antonation
Yeah, we all know what the third date means, you naughty little monkey. By now you've discovered that you like each other enough to spend a meal together without one of you trying to bury a cocktail fork in the other's back, but you've run out of small talk, cute stories and one-liners, so if you don't get your intended into the sack soon, the two of you are going to have nothing left to talk about. Vesta Dipping Grill is the perfect spot for all the social maneuvering involved in those critical hours leading up to the big moment. First, there's no sexier dining room in town than the main floor here, with its dim lights, ranks of candles, cozy seating and profusion of iron, fire and leather. Second, Vesta offers plenty of conversational distractions -- from making fun of the dateless hipsters slouching at the bar to discussing the innovative offerings of chef Matt Selby. And finally, since short of sharing bodily fluids there's no more intimate activity than sharing food, Vesta's grilled meats and dipping sauces are custom-made for getting cozy. So put on your lucky party drawers and make a reservation at Vesta. Because if you can't get laid after a night here, your next call should be for a Russian mail-order bride.

Yeah, we all know what the third date means, you naughty little monkey. By now you've discovered that you like each other enough to spend a meal together without one of you trying to bury a cocktail fork in the other's back, but you've run out of small talk, cute stories and one-liners, so if you don't get your intended into the sack soon, the two of you are going to have nothing left to talk about. Vesta Dipping Grill is the perfect spot for all the social maneuvering involved in those critical hours leading up to the big moment. First, there's no sexier dining room in town than the main floor here, with its dim lights, ranks of candles, cozy seating and profusion of iron, fire and leather. Second, Vesta offers plenty of conversational distractions -- from making fun of the dateless hipsters slouching at the bar to discussing the innovative offerings of chef Matt Selby. And finally, since short of sharing bodily fluids there's no more intimate activity than sharing food, Vesta's grilled meats and dipping sauces are custom-made for getting cozy. So put on your lucky party drawers and make a reservation at Vesta. Because if you can't get laid after a night here, your next call should be for a Russian mail-order bride.


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