See also: - Taylor Swift: A compilation of her surprised, shocked and awe-struck faces - Review: Taylor Swift at the Pepsi Center, 9/27/11 - Slide show: Taylor Swift returns to Denver, 9/27/11 - Taylor Swift earned more than Adele and Katy Perry combined last year
Look, we all know Taylor Swift needs other sources of inspiration for her lyrics like the NFL needs another quarterback like Tim Tebow, but this is too damn good to pass up. While the country-pop chanteuse probably has her hands full promoting her latest single, the subtle-as-a-bedazzled-anvil-dropping-from-sky, leave-nothing-to-imagination ode "We Are Never Ever Getting Back Together," Croc's co-founder George Boedecker Jr. has provided the little lady with all the fodder she needs for yet another impassioned anthem with his impaired-driving adventure in the People's Republic over the weekend.
The Latest Word has the done all the heavy lifting on this one, but the gist is: Boedecker was popped on the 3400 block of 22nd Street for suspicion of driving after imbibing. Actually, he wasn't actually doing much driving at the time; that's why the cops were dispatched in the first place, on a report of a guy passed out behind the wheel of a Porsche that was still running. Before the fuzz arrived, Boedecker evidently tried to make a run for it. He was caught, obviously, and when he was, he reportedly blamed the whole episode on his girlfriend, a singer who's "really fucking famous," as he put it.
Spoiler alert: It was Taylor Swift, according to Boedecker.
Oh, and she's, uh, batshit crazy, sirs.
Why we do feel like Ms. Swift's going to take umbrage to that remark? Hmm... Perhaps we should ask her parade of past disparagers and done-me-wrongs: Bob Lefsetz ("Mean"), John Mayer ("Dear John"), and, er, whatever poor sap inspired her latest ditty. Better brace yourself, Mr. Boedecker. You've summoned hellfire. And not only has he teed up another turnkey tune for Taylor, but he's also provided her with a working title for said pending paean to woe. In case doesn't occur to her, might we suggest "Croc of Shit."
(Sorry. Couldn't resist.)
Page down to have a look at Boedecker's mugshot and the associated police report