Now that Lil Wayne is for real, finally, absolutely, behind bars with no possibility to escape for at least eight months, we figured we'd send him a few choice clips to help him pass the time. We can't imagine going nearly a year without his trademark hair (will he have to cut it for jail?) or his new music direction, so we've decided to take a look at a few movies that might help him, um, well -- just pass the time warden, nothing more, we swear. Anyway, Lil Wayne, since we know you're reading this, watch these films, and we'll be seeing you soon (we're certain he can still use his Netflix -- he's Lil Wayne).
10. Down by Law
DJ Zack and pimp Jack go to jail for being to chilled out to bother fighting against accusations of crimes they didn't commit. Then they meet an eccentric Italian who has plans for escape. Lil Wayne? We'd like to see you take on the roll of Roberto, please.
09. Chicken Run
We're not certain if Lil Wayne's future includes a chicken pie, but either way we think he mind find solace in the great escape attempts and ability to overcome great disadvantages.
08. Le Trou
We imagine Lil Wayne in the roll of the fifth wheel in this prison escape. He'll come in, get all down and dirty and help plot out a successful mission then suddenly will be released. Okay, maybe not, we kind of doubt Lil Wayne could dig his way out of anything.
We'd like to think Lil Wayne is actually innocent, and perhaps he is being sent to jail simply to spy on the guards and prisoners, so he can begin instituting reform measures. Or not.
06. Stalag 17
Okay, this is about a POW camp, but we imagine (again) Lil Wayne in the roll of the informant. We're sorry, it's just impossible to imagine him being particularly tough or even idealistic. Maybe we're wrong.
05. My Cousin Vinny
The trial against Lil Wayne was hilarious enough on its own merit, but perhaps Lil Wayne could learn a thing or two from this comedy classic -- namely, they are better ways to delay a sentence than getting a bunch of root canals and trying to set the courtroom on fire.
04. Stir Crazy
There is absolutely nothing, nothing at all -- not the second coming of Christ, not Atlantis, not even a nude Na'vi sex scene -- that we'd rather see more than Lil Wayne riding a bronco in a prison rodeo.
03. Escape from Alcatraz
We're not certain Rikers Island isn't anything in comparison to Alcatraz, but that doesn't mean Lil Wayne can't find a bit of inspiration from Clint Eastwood's daring escape.
02. Shawshank Redemption
Lil Wayne doesn't have a couple years time to bond with his inmates, but we're pretty certain that if Morgan Freeman pays him a visit, he'll have some harrowing advice to the young prisoner. It'll probably have something to do with a lot of digging though, which as we've already mentioned we can't really imagine Lil Wayne doing.
01. The Great Escape
Can you picture Lil Wayne flying a plane out of Rikers Island? Yeah? That's why he should watch this.