Sorry, that headline is cruel. In-N-Out Burger, which now has locations in California, Nevada, Dallas-Fort Worth and Utah, is not opening a store in Denver, but if you don't want to drive the 350-plus miles to get your double-double burger fix, you can have it delivered straight to your door in Denver -- or anywhere else in the United States.
For a price.
A website called Midtown Row, which insists that "yes, we are for real," is capitalizing on the In-N-Out phenomenon by offering to ship two "frozen-fresh" classic double-double In-N-Out burgers "with all the trimmings" -- or two "Animal-Style" burgers -- to your panting household for what it would typically cost to fill up a midsize SUV with gas. Yes, that's right, for the price of $50, plus $6 for shipping, you can haul out your best china, sliverware and table linens, watch Super Size Me on Netflix and wrap your jaws around what some consider the best burger on the globe.
The website, however, makes no guarantees that what you get will satisfy your In-N-Out addiction. "We will ship with proper refrigeration via overnight mail, but heat and consume at your own risk," it warns, adding that "Midtown Row bears no liability for any damages caused by improper handling of these burgers." How's that for reassurance?
Your burgers, should you choose to blow the bank on beef, will be shipped on November 1 via overnight, express mail -- and you can order up to ten. To do just that, go to www.midtownrow.com and sign up for an account (it's free), and hope that your burgers don't get smashed in transit -- or worse, that you wolf them down like a heathen and keel over.