Last month, we told you about how Adam Cayton-Holland, former Westworder and current emcee of Geeks Who Drink's Geek Bowl 2011, was heating up the animosity between the six cities going head-to-head in the trivia competition by making a series of shit-talking videos. Now, like the slow kid who awkwardly interjects a comeback into the conversation hours after the original insult, Philidelphia has responded with a rap that basically sounds like the theme from The Fresh Prince (pretty much the only decent thing except Rocky III to come out of that city) except whiter.
Performed by Johnny Goodtimes, who is apparently some sort of big shot in what Philadelphia calls "quizzo," like bar trivia was some sort of low-level mob operative, the video takes small shots at Austin and Albuquerque but saves the largest measure of its flaccid ammunition for our fair city. Which would probably sting more if he didn't sound like Kris Kross as covered by Marty Culp. Oh, and "Johnny Goodtimes," if that is your real name? Don't think we didn't see that copyrighted Westword photo you slipped in there at 0:24. It's pretty sad when you can't make a dis-rap video without the help of the people you're trying to dis. And you're still ineffective.
Wait, who's doing meth? Dude's teeth look like he flosses with lye, for Christ's sake. Maybe it's tough to find a good dentist when the population of your city has been in steady decline since 1950. What's that? You posted a two percent increase over the last ten years? Congratulations. The world population has added a billion people in that time. You added twenty.
Here's the throwdown Goodtimes was responding to:
LOL! Ah, Adam Cayton-Holland, how did you get so hilarious? Seriously, that kind of rapid-fire zinging is hard to keep up with. On the other hand, though, you hardly need help making Philly look stupid. They're pretty much doing that themselves.
Geek Bowl 2011 goes down Saturday, January 29 at the Fillmore Auditorium, 1510 Clarkson Street. Check out Geeks Who Drink for tickets and more information.